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This board is primarily for those whose children have LGBTQ+ parents to share their personal experiences and advice.

LGBT parents

married but attracted to women

19 replies

afemaletraveler · 10/06/2019 13:11

Married for 7 years and have 2 girls but recently thinking about women and being with one , at a recent party i got tipsy and kissed this women , i enjoyed it and afterwards it got me thinking more and more about making friends with women and have now started to watch lesbian , the other day i received a txt off the women asking to meet her......shall i ?

Thanks

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Singlenotsingle · 10/06/2019 13:13

Depends whether you value your marriage or not. Not wanting to sound judgmental, but you'd risk losing your marriage if you were unfaithful with another man, and this is no different.

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freshstartnewme · 10/06/2019 13:14

the other day i received a txt off the women asking to meet her......shall i ?

You are fucking married. So no.

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curiositycreature · 10/06/2019 13:18

No. I think you need to speak to your husband about these feelings.

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afemaletraveler · 10/06/2019 13:43

i have tried to but he says it will pass , he does not wish to talk about it

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afemaletraveler · 10/06/2019 13:45

He cheated on me 7 month ago , said he will never do it again but i have a feeling hes at it again

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freshstartnewme · 10/06/2019 13:45

Both as bad as each other then?

Just go your separate ways.

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spugzbunny · 10/06/2019 13:50

The end of your marriage and your sexuality are not the same issue. Sort the first one out before you even consider the second

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SoHotADragonRetired · 10/06/2019 13:55

Sure, if you want to end your marriage, go right ahead.

The fact that you're having feelings of same sex attraction doesn't give you license to cheat. Cheating is what you're doing, there's no magic pass for it being another woman. Lots of women are same sex attracted and stay faithfully married to men, because feelings are not commands or excuses.

Your marriage sounds like it is on the skids; commit to it or wind it up, then worry about kissing ladies.

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afemaletraveler · 10/06/2019 13:55

Dont you think i get enough shit off him, all i asked for was friendly advice, not being told to go stand in the corner, i would like to try to save my marriage but when one party does not wish to talk what can i do ....thanks for your super friendly "both as bad as each other" advice.... .....

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freshstartnewme · 10/06/2019 13:59

iwould like to try to save my marriage but when one party does not wish to talk what can i do ....

Well meeting someone else isn't the answer



thanks for your super friendly "both as bad as each other" advice.... .....

I'm not trying to be your friend. You asked for advice and you got it. You can't justify your want to meet someone else because he has had an affair in the past. It literally is being as bad as him.

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Branleuse · 10/06/2019 14:01

He doesnt sound that bothered and nor do you about his cheating. Have you thought about discussing and negotiating an open relationship? Do you still fancy your husband and get on with him?

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SoHotADragonRetired · 10/06/2019 14:04

i would like to try to save my marriage but when one party does not wish to talk what can i do ...

Well, you can leave rather than be unfaithful. Do you really think that both having affairs will improve the situation? And if you're going to split post affairs, then hold on to your honesty and integrity and just split now.

It sounds a lot more like you want to hurt your husband for his affair than that you want to deal honestly with the marriage. The friendliest advice you could possibly get right now is: the path you want to follow leads only to more pain and fuckedupness.

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TheChildChomper · 10/06/2019 14:09

recently thinking about women and being with one ... i got tipsy and kissed this women ... the other day i received a txt off the women asking to meet her......shall i ?

i would like to try to save my marriage

Hmm

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curiositycreature · 10/06/2019 14:10

If your husband won’t talk to you about it then you need to work out what you want.

If you want to stay married then no, don’t meet this woman. Why on earth would you if your long term gain is to stay married to your husband.

If you want to explore your sexuality, you can’t do that whilst still married (IMHO).

Or are you posting on here because you have worked out what you want, and you’ve come to the conclusion you want to explore your sexuality? And you want advice on how to do that?

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curiositycreature · 10/06/2019 14:11

“Long term plan” not “long term gain”

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suspiriorum · 03/07/2019 13:17

i think you already know about what you're going to do about the (meetup) but it would be better if you settle things first with your cheating husband if you really want to save your marriage which i dont think you should....

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CurvyK08 · 29/07/2019 00:40

afemaletraveler go with ur heart. Don't move 10 years on, look back and have regrets. I would be interested to know what u did?

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HeddaGarbled · 29/07/2019 00:52

Well you’re not going to save your marriage by pursuing a sexual relationship with someone else, regardless of their sex/gender, are you?

Decide. Save marriage or have sexual relationship with someone else. You can’t have both.

If you decide on the sexual relationship with someone else, end the marriage first.

Just because he’s a liar and a cheat, doesn’t mean you have to be one too. You can be a better person.

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afemaletraveler · 07/08/2019 00:00

He left for another woman , I have not met anyone so marriage is over , thank you for your hard hitting advice , I was going to end it but found out hes been cheating for 5 month.

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