Lesbian couple looking for advice on our fertility treatment

[Tasha1994]

Hi, me and my wife have just received our first consultation to start iui. As I was diagnosed with pcos we are getting some help. Does anyone know how long the process is between the consultation and first attempt? How the donor choosing process works? Any advice is appreciated.

Congrats on taking the first steps! I am a single lesbian planning for first round of IUI in January. I also have PCOS - there is some great support out there. Worth a look at Kym Campbell's "Beat PCOS" programme which I'm following at the moment to get in the best shape before starting treatment. I am also taking Inofolic on the clinic's advice which is meant to improve egg quality and regulate hormones. No idea if it's working but I figured it couldn't harm!

The clinic I have been going to took about 4 weeks to come back with all of the results from the initial consultation (blood tests, ovarian scan etc) - then I had a consultation with the specialist to go through the results and work out the best treatment plan. I have been advised to try natural cycle IUI (ie with no fertility drugs) to see how that goes - I am aiming for 3 cycles then reassess what to try next if that doesn't work. They have said they need approx 6 weeks notice before starting the first cycle but it all depends on the clinic and whether you opt for IUI or IVF which will have different time frames I guess. The donor sperm needs to arrive at the clinic a couple of weeks before treatment so you need to build that into your timescales too.

Worth having a good think about the donor - what qualities are important to you etc which will dictate what info you want to know about him before choosing. Most sperm banks allow you to browse donors without even signing on so it's worth having a look at what is out there. My clinic recommends the European Sperm Bank and Xytex. There are heaps of others out there especially in the US. The London Sperm Bank was also recommended by a previous clinic I went to but you get a lot less info about the donors from LSB compared with the others. You can get everything from family medical history, personality, education, interests, as well as the usual physical characteristics. Some even have photos of the donor as a kid.

Happy to help where I can, I'm not an expert by any means but good to hear others are in a similar position!! Good luck :)

I tried 4 attempts of IUI in Denmark with donor sperm from Cryos/ European Sperm Bank then and 2 rounds of IVF. We have a 2 year old boy now. Danish spermbanksvwill give you excellent choice and there’s option for anon or non-anon and photos of donor as a child. Transport costs to the UK are about £250 depending on the clinic. One straw of MOT 20 is approx £1k. You will also need to budget for what they call a pregnancy slot. It’s a one off payment that you only pay if you are successful. One mistake we made was only buying enough sperm for each go and we are now in the position of trying again and we wish we had got at least 1 more straw as the donor we used is no longer available 🤦🏼‍♀️ For IUI most clinics suggest MOT 20 or higher, washed, but I would certainly double check all this with your clinic. Have you given any thought to going straight to IVF? Depending on your age it might be a better option. It is more expensive but the success rates are higher. I was 38 when starting IUI and we spent around £5k on this before deciding to go for IVF. Full rounds are about £3-4K but once get your embryos a frozen embryo transfer is about £1.5k and you may have enough for siblings in the future. If you are under 35 you or your partner could consider egg donation in return for free IVF. As Was too old to donate, my partner donated half her eggs to me and half to an anon recipient in return for heavily subsidised IVF. She got 9 eggs, 5 to us and 4 to the recipient. We got 3 hatching blastocysts, I used two and one left in the freezer. Apologies for the diatribe! I wish you and your wife all the best!