We're about to start the procedings for me (non-bio mum) to adopt our 18month ds. We have our civil partnership.
From what I've seen on various forums, it looks like dp (bio mum) has to essentially give ds up for adoption, and we then adopt him as a couple. This seems to be what happens in step-child adoptions. Have I got this right? If I have got this right, does it make any difference that we were together (and had been for ages) when ds was conceived, that it was a joint project, rather than me joining a pre-existing family of mother and child. In effect it's the same as if a hetero couple conceived through donor insemination, yet I don't expect they don't have to got through these proceedings. (I'm sure they tend to skirt the issue by lying on the birth certificate.)
Anyway, I'm not complaining about the way things seem to be, but I want to clarify whether I've got the right end of the stick. Because we conceived ds together it seems to me that there might possibly be differences between my adoption of ds and that by a new partner joining a family.
SO what I'm finally getting round to asking is: Have I understood this right? Who's done this, and how did it feel to the bio mum if she really did have to adopt her own child? And do I really need to stress too much about the state of the house when the lady from the adoption team makes her first visit on Monday?!