Transgender ex husband

[hannahbailey174]

My partner and I split up because he decided he was a woman. I have a 3 year old son and he wants to tell him everything now. I am incredibly anxious about how my son will take it and future bullying, really how to handle the whole thing. I understand why my ex wants to do it, but I feel he is too young and still dealing with the separation. Just looking for people who have been through something similar as feeling very alone with it

Bump.

Hi Hannah* I'm sorry no one replied so far. If you go to the "What would you do?" section of Mumsnet there is an active thread about this type of thing generally.

In terms of your son, "I am incredibly anxious about how my son will take it and future bullying, really how to handle the whole thing."

Please tell your ex you need to agree together how to handle this and work it out together.

If goes off and tells your son a load of stuff you do not agree to then there is always the possibeiliyy that you will end up saying things he is not happy with. Please make him aware that you both need to work together on this one for the sake of your son.

"I understand why my ex wants to do it..." Wjy does yuor ex think a three year old can handle something your ex has possbly spent 10 or 20 or even 30 years coming to terms with?

Please ask him and them please share because this sounds like a selfish man who wants to do things his way regardless of the impact on his son!

"I feel he is too young and still dealing with the separation." Of cours he is still dealing with the separation. Your ex needs to prioritize his son.

"Just looking for people who have been through something similar as feeling very alone with it." I am afraid I have not been through something similar but I am happy to be a listening ear.

OP there is a section in what would you do here on Mumsnet which is currently quite active on the topic of a transgener partner. May be worth a look.

oopse I already said that!

Regarding the possible future bullying, I would not worry too much. I think you need to make your son aware that some people will find this unusual/odd or whatever and so how much your son talks about it at school etc may influence how much people now.

Will your ex expect to go into the school for parents days etc? Just helping and preparing your child for questions will be useful if/when that happens.

Just a note to say that if your ex is a woman, it is transphobic to say "he" or "man".

There are groups out there for partners of trans people which may welcome you to give advice as many have been through the same experience with informing their children, but not if you are going to call a trans woman a man. My experience is children and young people are very adaptable and only learn to reject someone when one of their parents is unsupportive of the other's transition. You should let your partner speak for themself or sort your use of language and general feelings about this out before talking to your child.