What is this thread for???

[charliegal]

..is it for Gay parents to post and discuss parenting issues or is a receptacle for heterosexual anxiety around anything of the homosexual nature?
Eh?

Oops, no I'm sorry for being bad tempered. The thread is really quiet anyway. Maybe nobody is sure what it is for. I was interested because I am a lesbian mum and I thought it might be good to share experiences. My baby is 4 months old, so it's all new to me and I don't know many other gay parents. Mumsnet is generally helpful anyway, I just thought there were some things lesbian mums have in common.

hi charliegal - there are a couple of lesbian mums on the site, including me, but I think mostly gay parents post on other sites - have you seen the Rainbow Families board on the Gingerbeer site? There has been a thread on this topic about the children of gay parents and their experiences at school...is that the sort of thing you wanted to discuss?

The last time I looked at The Gingerbeer website was when I was thinking about ttc and there was tumbleweed blowing around the parenting section. I'm much more of a lurker reslly, but yeah, I am interested in other Mum's experiences at Nursery, school etc.
I heard something on the radio about inclusive books being used for young children and the attitudes of the parents interviewed really gave me pause for thought (and worry for the future).
One said she didn't want her daughter reading about a girl with two mummies because it might (pause) 'plant a seed'.

at that woman's comment!

Seriously, I just don't believe some people. Charliegal, my (female) DP and I are planning to start a family soon so I'm interested in these discussions. People's attitudes are worrying though, we live in a largish town in Scotland but I wouldn't say it was very liberal.

x

There are quite a few gay parents here charliegal, but I suppose maybe they just tend to post on other topics. There have certainly been discussions on here about issues that gay parents can face that have been interesting and quite lively, and I think maybe that's when this topic was introduced?

Hello kokeshi Move East, it's pretty liberal here, honestly.

Hi Charliegal - it's funny 'cos I was kind of thinking the same thing this morning, in a grumbly unjustified kind of way!

My ds's are 5 and nearly 3 now so the 4 month stage feels a long time ago..! On the whole we've had brilliant experiences so far of playgroups, nurseries, childminders and school (have tested them all out! ). Some things keep cropping up - e.g. we always get asked every year about Father's Day, and what should ds's do, and every year we explain that they've got a Dad, see him often and so yes please he'd love a card!

Dp is building up a good network of getting to know other Mums (she's a SAHM, I work full-time) and the ones she's getting to know are lovely - ds1 gets invited on play dates and to parties and so far it's all good!

The most bizarre reaction we've had to date is my midwife in London, when I was first pregnant, who (when I explained our situation and introduced her to dp who was with me) asked me "is it legal?", looked horrified, left the room (I thought possibly to phone the police?!) and hardly spoke a word more to us when she returned. Fortunately we didn't have to see her again...

Anyway, I'll stop wittering!

Hi All

Just to say Radio 4 listeners never have a good word to say about lesbians and gay men - never listen to a phone-in on the subject. It makes you want to jump out of a window. So it was fairly predictable that they wouldn't like "Spacegirl pukes" or whatever it's called. When I saw it in Borders, where I work, I was really torn. Book where child has two mums: hurray. Book where everybody throws up rainbow coloured sick: boo.

I thought the same thing- 'how coarse'. I might be gay, but I'm not common you know. However, beggars can't be choosers.

Just to answer the OP - I like this section being here. I lurk a lot but MN has been invaluable at all stages of ttc and parenting, but as a lesbian parent you still feel different, and have to come out. This board feels like an obvious welcome, even though the other sections are welcoming when you join in. So for me its important to get info on relevant stuff like school issues, mothers day and explaining to kids where they come from, from other gay parents. It adds to the other boards. I suppose its just like life - I live in a hetero world, and thats great, but every now and again I like to be in a space where I'm not the only one.

In terms of prejudice/negativity, the only slight issue was with the NCT class - teacher was completely unable to cope with where to put DP when we split into mum and dad groups. And she didn't seem to manage using the word partner either. Luckily very supportive nct group members helped her(!) and made us feel we should still go. But I think that things having been positive make it really really upsetting when I hear negative stuff, and the catholic crap recently was just quite devastating. I always feel physically sick when I heard anti-gay parent stuff in the media and I think its because I'm more protective and fearful now for our son than before we had him. But I've wandered around topic now so I'll go!