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LGBT parents

This board is primarily for those whose children have LGBTQ+ parents to share their personal experiences and advice.

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Original poster

why is it some familys have none and we have 3+?!

44 replies

smeeinit · 06/03/2007 08:32

just wondering if theres anything in it..........lots of families have no gay people atall but we have 3 that we know off and quite possibly alot more!
my 14 yr old son came out last august,my 18 yr old nephew came out when he was 16 and i found out at the weekend that my dads cousin whos 38 is also gay. we are all quite sure that going back a few years there are more who didnt/couldnt come out.
do you think alot of familys do have gay relatives but are not so open or are we just lucky to have so many?!!!!
personnaly i think its fab that young people can come out at such young ages and be accepted as years ago this just was not the case. im a very proud mum of an openly gay 14 yr old!

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Original poster

smeeinit · 07/03/2007 18:06

confirmed batchelor! lol !

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Hulababy · 07/03/2007 18:17

There are no openly gay people in either mine or DH's families. Never thought about it before. Considering that I have a pretty large family, I guess that is quite odd
really. Can't think of any in the family who might be either - if you can indeed always tell.

Original poster

smeeinit · 07/03/2007 19:05

maybe there is some truth to the "it runs in families" rumour then?!

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Lovecat · 13/03/2007 20:34

My dd's godfather is one of six children - 2 girls and 3 boys. He and his sister are gay. Unfortunately neither of them can come out to their parents as they are elderly Irish Catholics who strongly disapprove of such goings on

My SIL's ex-husband's brother (if you can follow that!) is gay, his dad (SIL's EFIL) was the campest man I've ever met in my life (and I used to run an amateur dramatics assocation!) married to a woman who looked more like a bloke than he did and she (my SIL) has been convinced from when he was a tiny baby that her ds2 is gay. She can't explain why, she just has a feeling about it...

kama · 13/03/2007 20:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

WeaselMum · 13/03/2007 20:45

smeeinit, you sound like a lovely mum - you and your family must be so loving and supportive. I saw the channel 4 gay teens stuff the other week, just by chance, and had tears in my eyes watching the gay prom! It was wonderful to see how happy and confident these kids are. When I met my dp (I was 17) things were so difficult for us - we didn't tell anyone we were together till we had left school.

MadameSleepsLessAndLess · 13/03/2007 21:01

Smeeinit Just wanted to say that its a credit to you as a parent that your son feels secure & happy in his relationship with you to come out age of 14. I just hope that I develope the same kind of confidence & trust with my own daughter who is nearly 10 months old.
What a wounderful mum you are.

chipmonkey · 13/03/2007 22:22

Could I just quickly say that we're not all homophobic in Ireland!

lemonaid · 13/03/2007 22:29

But smeeinit, you can be "effeminate" and have female friends without being gay. Yes, I've known people who were "obviously gay", except that a lot of the time they weren't, actually, being gay being to do with having sex with people of the same gender rather than to do with whether you like pink or have an interest in cushions. And there are gay soldiers and gay sportsmen and, yes, even gay bricklayers.

chipmonkey · 13/03/2007 22:34

lemonaid, haven't you just described the Village People?

Spidermama · 13/03/2007 22:54

My great uncle is gay and he and his life long partner had a really tough time coming out in those days (late 50s early 60s) I think some of my old great aunts were but it was never confirmed. My son may well be and if you don't mind may I point you in the direction of this thread as it is a subject which has been worrying me for sometime and I'd love your views on it.
Thanks.

Original poster

smeeinit · 15/03/2007 16:55

lemonaid,where did i say that only gay men can be effeminate and have friends who are girls????
kama weaselmum mslal thanks you very much for that. makes me feel very proud.

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Califrau · 15/03/2007 17:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lemonaid · 15/03/2007 18:04

You didn't, but when asked how you could tell that your nephew was "obviously gay" at 4 you said that "what i mean is my nephew has always been feminate in his ways and always had female friends even from a very early age", which does imply that you identified him as "obviously gay" because he was effeminate and had female friends.

Original poster

smeeinit · 15/03/2007 19:04

thats very true lemonaid.....but i also went on to add.. "without you knowing him its hard to describe"

please dont suggest im stereo typing gay men!

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lemonaid · 15/03/2007 19:46

Oh, FFS, you said yourself that you sounded as though you were stereotyping in that post.

I still don't think that a 4yo can be obviously gay any more than he can be obviously straight. And I think any argument that he can is going to come down to some kind of sterotype, because by definition you don't have a window into the depths of his psyche and all you can do is point up particular behaviours and patterns of behaviour that may often but not always be associated with being gay in later life.

You, on the other hand, think that there was something so obviously gay about your nephew at that age as to transcend stereotype. So I think we are going to have to agree to disagree.

Original poster

smeeinit · 15/03/2007 20:41

no lemonaid i didnt think there was something obviously gay about my nephew at age 4 i knew there was something obviously gay about my nephew at age 4!
and i wasnt wrong was i?!!

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persephonesnape · 15/03/2007 22:23

my seven year old is as camp as a tent peg. again it's hard to describe - he's a very broadway musicals type of boy, artistic, creative, tactile, dances and sings all the time. wants to dress up as a princess, fairy or (more likely) witch all of the time. always raiding his big sisters cast-offs. we 'almost' joke that he's gay...indeed it would be a bit of a shock if he came in and declared that he were hetrosexual - but he is not a sexual being just now. He does seem to think that he'll marry a girl at some point (if he can get over the girl-cooties thing) even though it is understood in our house that you are exceptionally lucky if you can fall in love with someone and they love you too - regardless of race or gender. i don't know if thats because he thinks on some level that you can only marry girls.

oh my god! he might be straight! I'll still love him!

but, yes. as far as i know we have no gay people in our immediate family. we're all far too anal (...) to actually discuss our sexuality. ..

Original poster

smeeinit · 15/03/2007 22:42

pmsl @ "oh my god! he might be straight! I'll still love him! " hehehehehe!

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