why is it some familys have none and we have 3+?!

[smeeinit]

just wondering if theres anything in it..........lots of families have no gay people atall but we have 3 that we know off and quite possibly alot more!
my 14 yr old son came out last august,my 18 yr old nephew came out when he was 16 and i found out at the weekend that my dads cousin whos 38 is also gay. we are all quite sure that going back a few years there are more who didnt/couldnt come out.
do you think alot of familys do have gay relatives but are not so open or are we just lucky to have so many?!!!!
personnaly i think its fab that young people can come out at such young ages and be accepted as years ago this just was not the case. im a very proud mum of an openly gay 14 yr old!

thats lovely that your ds can speak to you and tell you how he feels, well done for being sucha fab mum

did you see that prog last week, just caught it when puting a cartoon on at lunch something about a Gay prom?..and the kids were all very young(just about teens upwards) and were very open and happy..really nice to see them like that but strange that it was telivised if theyre trying to make it the norm?

thanks strwbs!
yeah channel 4 were doing a whole week on young gay people,thought the gay prom was so good,how great to see all those openly gay teenagers being openly gay!!!!
iyswim!

Smee my brother came out at 18 he is now 42, and was the third couple to get married last january.

I only know of one gay person in our family

shosha your brother must have come up against some discrimination coming out over 20 yrs ago?

We have loads as well - 2 lovely female cousins (sisters) both gay - but have children from previously heterosexual marriages - Cousin 1's son is gay, Mothers cousin is gay ( but in the west of Ireland during the 40's so he was unable to "come out" whilst living there - denied it to himself for years but moved to London in his 40's and met and had a wonderful relationship with "Uncle" Sid for many years - Sid died last year

I've was the matron of honour at my cousin's wedding (civil partnership) - it was fabulous !!

I dont know Smee really he left the small town we live in to go to Uni, then moved to live in london, he and his partner(of 20 years) have always just been accepted in the family, I was a single parent and they used to take my son on holiday once ayear, (Im sure so they could go to theme parks and not look a prat) I got one comment about it, but chose to igmore it.

smeeinit, what a great mum you are.

thanks nanninurse thats very kind of you to say so.
i think people are far more accepting these days and there is definatly not so much homophobia as there was 20 years ago,actually even 10 yrs ago.
no-one in my family,old or young, has changed the way they view my son or my nephew since they both "came out" and my friends are the same.
how awful would it be for a gay person to live life as a straight person for fear of being rejected or made to feel "diiferent"?

yeahinaminute, were they all accepted when coming/came out?

Maybe your son saw that your nephew's coming out was accepted so well, and the family didn't change their attitude towards him, so he felt confident that he would receive an equally loving reaction?

Anyway, it's great that he feels able to do so you obviously have a great relationship.

you may be right.
my nephew was quite obviously gay from around 4 yrs old so it was no shock to any of us when he came out!
my son however although a bit "mincey" was not quite so sbvious!

thats Obvious!

Smeinit - my cousins and cousins son had no problems at all - everyone was delighted that they were out and comfortable with their sexuality- but mums cousin in Ireland still couldn't "come out" to the Irish faction - he lived a double life - his normal life in London with Sid and then when he went home to visit Ireland it was as a "straight" bachelor

I'm pretty sure my great aunt and uncle and his siblings knew but it was not mentioned at all and although Sid occassionally accompanied him it was as "B's friend from London that he shares a house with"

arr how sad that he had to livea double life like that.

It would seem reasonable that open families that are no homophobic would 'allow' people to come out more easily than repressive families, in repressive parts of the world/country. So that might be part of the reason.

there is also some evidence that you are more likly to be gay if you have a gay brother.....though this doesn't hold for all families.

I know that the 'inheritance' of gayness is a hotly debated issue within the gay community, with some parts considering being gay as a life choice, and some considering it a genetic trait.

none at all in our family, although dd's godfather is, so non-genetic family!

smeeinit - i'm interested when you say your nephew was 'obviously gay' from age 4 - how do you mean? I've often wondered about that, as that would prove a definitive answer to those people who claim people can 'choose' not to be.

My cousin is one I know of. Not that it was a shock

His family are lovely & so is his boyfriend. He has been with him longer than I have been with my dh

That "obviously gay at 4" comment stuck out to me. DS is 6 and not obviously anything - other than a little boy.

tortoise and bozza ,what i mean is my nephew has always been feminate in his ways and always had female friends even from a very early age,.....without you knowing him its hard to describe but have you never known someone who you think is "obviously gay"? (god i sound so stereo typical!)
bozza can you really only see your 6 yr old as nothing but a "little boy"?
i knew when my eldest son was 4 that he had an undeniable talent for brick laying when he went to work with his dad and built a brick wall that still stands 12yrs on! it was obvious from an early age that i would always have a weight problem!

what im saying is that some people have ways about them that make them "obviously" "something" from an early age weather thats there sexuality or their skill or their ability to eat until they burst!!!.

There was a boy at a school where I worked who was 5yrs old. He was always dressing up in the girls dressing up clothes and was a real '
darling. His mum was talking to the teacher at parents evening and the teacher was saying how he loved to dress up as the 'queen, oh I meant King' she said, the mum said, 'no, I think Queen is more accurate'! Maybe you can just know from a young age.

have to agree smeeinit....my best friend through school used to want to play kiss chase with the boys from 5 yrs old and came out to me at 12 yrs...finally came out to the family when he was 23...and they said they had known since he was young.

confirmed batchelor used to be code in a family for gay uncles didn't it?

and before I get jumped on, no, I'm not saying wanting to play kiss chase with the same sex = gay.

lol zip