OP, I'm wondering the same about myself right now for exactly the same reason. Friend asks if I fancy some random celeb, it's clear everyone else does so "err, yes" I say.
Same friend tries on the underwear at an Ann Summers party and parades around in it, I don't know where to look. She then gets really drunk and lies with her head in my lap, sobbing about how badly her husband treats her, and 😳, nothing happens but I do find it hard not to give away how I feel.
I was with my husband for 15 years, and oddly it worked, but as soon as he showed his true colours and I started to loose my emotional attachment to him, I felt physically sick about what we did in the bedroom.
Found this site really interesting www.yoursexualorientation.info/#2893
Have zero experience of forming an emotional attachment to women, but I slept with a few at university. Fantasised about women a lot whilst married.
So, vicariously living as a lesbian now, mostly with what goes through my head, and really hoping that some kind lady will pop my divorce cherry soon (not ready for a relationship). Plan on focusing on girls only for at least 6 months, and seeing if I ever miss sex with men or fantasise about it. Lost a few opportunities to get my divorce cherry popped by being honest about this, but don't want to hurt anyone.