Sorry Lost ,mislaid the thread!
I was very unhappy in the marriage for a long time for various reasons, lots of counselling which he wasn't good with. Finally realised when talking to a gay friend who said she had suspected for a while but didn't want to influence me.
H took it very badly, (understandably) and 7 years on is still angry & bitter with me despite him having a new GF. it has affected his relationship with his DC's but mine & the kids relationship is stronger than ever.
I just told the kids the truth that although I would always love their Dad for being their father I had realised I couldn't make him happy & he deserved more as did I. Most kids want their parents back together at the beginning, but knowing this helped them accept it wasn't going to happen.
It did help that I didn't leave him for another woman, I had & have close friends for support but no relationship, and TBH that worked best for me as I was initially riddled with guilt.
Now the kids are older I am dipping my toe in the water & chatting to different people, if it happens it happens.
Would just like more of a gay social life in general as I live in a very isolated rural area (the only gay in the village type thing!!) So I'm working on that.
With your daughter I would keep the lines of communication open, make sure she knows she is loved and welcomed at your house and has a room there. Text & email her with chatty news of your days & asking after hers, and don't try and force a deep conversation about anything or force her to accept a new person in your life if there s one, until she is ready.