becoming parents

[MummyWired77]

Hi everyone. Any advice on this would be massively appreciated. My girlfriend and I are planning on starting a family very soon.
We would like to hear from other lesbian couples who have conceived children in their relationships and how it all happened for them. In particular we would love some much needed advice on how you/your partner conceived.
Thanks in advance for any help, advice, support etc. We live in the North East of England.

Best wishes, Mandy and Claudia x

Hi :)
We have 2 children through IVF conception. I'm not sure if you have an idea of how you would like to conceive?
Stonewall have a guide on their website you can download, or pink fertility or the LGBT section of fertility friends has some great advice.
I think you have to decide the how ( through a clinic, private known donor insemination at home, IVF,IUI ) before you can really get tailored advice to you as a couple.
Good luck with it all, feel free to PM me if you would like any info on IVF :)

Hi, we have one dd and one on the way, we found the website below really useful in meeting other gay parents. At a few meet ups couples have come along who are in the process of becoming parents so it might be worth a try for you in terms of asking others' advice. Not sure what there is in your area, but I think it's nationwide. HTH!

www.lesbiangayparents.ning.com

It is important when deciding to conceive to discuss it openly and work out what will not only be best for you but also for your future child.

All of our friends went for unknown donor IUI or IVF and they were shocked and horrified when we chose to go for known donor. It's something that isn't for everyone because many people feel that it would be confusing for a child and many of our friends felt that it would make the non-bio mother feel out of place.

We decided to do it this way mainly because my best friend is adopted and last year she became sick with a mystery illness. Her diagnosis was delayed because it was a rare condition that the doctors didn't think to look for because she had no family history of it. She has now tracked down her biological father and as it turned out his mother had the same condition.

We then read a large amount of research done in the states with children conceived though unknown donors in the 90's who are now adults and the majority of them said that although they didn't regret the way they were conceived they did wonder who their father was and some said that these thoughts did affect there lives (wondering about siblings and unknown medical conditions etc). This made us realise that it is not just about our feelings, it is about our child's both now and in the future.

This made us think that we were desperate for a child and so there must be guys out there who feel the same...and there were. This was the start of out quad parent family.

Our daughter has 2 mums, 2 dads and a huge family that all love her. Personally we are glad that we made this decision because she will know her roots and family history from all sides. Also if (God forbid) she gets sick and needs help then there is a whole other side of the family to to question or test if needed.

Like I said though it's not for everyone and many of our friends still think we are crazy but it works for us personally.