When did you know? How old were you?

[Badvoc]

(Disclaimer: if this is in the wrong place please do say and I will ask for it to be moved...)
My ds2 is 6 in sept.
He is wonderful :) but of course I would say that.
Thing is, I am starting to get a few raised eyebrows from family members about his likes and preferences.
I should state right now I couldn't care less if he is gay or bi but I dont want to mess it up and I want to do the right thing re support for him.
He loves girls. Really loves them. Doesn't really play with boys much. Loves singing and dance, and is very artistic (no idea where he gets that from!!:)l he loves films like frozen and tangled and is always asking to put on my make up and jewellery. He has asked for a frozen dress up for Xmas :)
Now I happen to think that's fine for a 6 year old but some family members are starting to make comments - you know the sort - and I need to know what I can say that will make my views clear but also make it clear I don't appreciate their comments.
Any thoughts? Is future sexual orientation obv at 6?
Thanks

I've had friends little boys exactly the same it's just them been interested in something else one little boy wanted some dress up shoes and a matching dress and handbag which he wore everywhere others have wanted to put makeup on and play with dolls or wear jewellery it's just them learning other things and I think it's okay to let them explore but I know what you mean a lot of people do have opinions about it and will comment on it I reckon just go with it! It may be a sign of things to come in the future but it may just be what he wants to do now and next week it could be something completely different just enjoy and ignore everyone else! Xx

You sound like a great parent. I think just the fact that you're aware of this and are being so thoughtful about it means that however you manage it will be best for him - he'll know you're onside whatever happens, and that counts for so, so much.

I can't speak for everyone, obviously, but I didn't really know I was gay until I was in my early 20s. Looking back though, there did seem to be several indications...I was always a tomboy (not that that means anything) and up until the age of about 8, I much preferred the company of boys. I don't know if you can tell really, but I do think it's really important to 'allow' (for want of a better word) him to do what he wants/feels comfortable with.

I think you just need maybe a stock phrase to use with any comments you feel aren't appropriate. Maybe something about each to their own or not being judgemental?? Sorry, I can't really think if anything just now, but if I do, I'll post back.

Thank you both.
I just want an answer for ignorant comments I guess.
He is who he is, and I love him no matter what his sexual preference turns out to be.
It's only as I have gotten older myself that I realise how fluid the ideas of gender and sexual attraction are!
Thanks again x

I think he is who he is and I love him no matter what would be a good stock phrase.

He may grow up to be gay or bi or 100% straight. I'm sure you know this, but forbidding him playing certain games won't change any of that.

For myself, I 'knew' when I was a teenager. With the benefit of hindsight, I can see I had a crush on another girl when I was about 10 or 11, but I didn't perceive my feelings like that at the time.

I knew when I was around 6.... I say 'knew' but what I mean is I didn't differentiate between boys and girls at all and I grew up believing I could be with either boys or girls, and that's how my adult life turned out. Me and my friend used to kiss when we were around 6 and call each other girlfriends. So I guess we were aware as such, but I didn't 'click' what it meant until teens.

Well, I've always been the girl with long blonde hair round a freshly made up face who loves flowers, kittens and babies and girly pastel colours.

I'm gay, only realised aged 29 mind.

I was a tomboy and didn't realize I was gay until mid teens. But with hindsight there were many signs. My brother loved dolls as a boy and he is 100 % straight.

I didn't know I was gay until I was about 15 or 16, when I realised I had romantic / sexual feelings towards other girls. I had diverse interests as a six year old.

Thing is, sexuality and gender aren't defined by your interests. There are plenty of straight women who played football as children and are good at DIY, and plenty of straight men who liked glitter and dolls as children and are good at cooking. The chances are that your DS likes Frozen and jewellery because he's six not because he's gay.

As to what to say to ignorant comments, I'd try

"I don't see why my DS's gender should limit him"

"You wouldn't say that about a girl who liked football, stop being such a dinosaur"

"He's six, not sixteen"

or the good old "Did you mean to be so rude?"