School LGBT+ club advice

[Roseyposeypie]

I’m not sure if I’m posting in the right place but saw a similar post here from a few years ago so I’m hoping people here can advise.

My DD12 has been going to a club at school called ‘Club 57’. It’s listed on the school’s extracurricular clubs list but with no further information apart that it’s open to all years (7-13). DD has told us that this an LGBT+ safe space club run by a non-binary teacher. I completely understand the need to provide a safe space when home (and possibly even school) might not feel safe for some students. However, since she’s started going she’s been keen to cover everything with various different LGBT+ stickers/pin badges/posters and has also told me that she is ‘genderfae’ (which I had to google). She talks openly to me about everything which is great so I know that she thinks she’s bisexual and is comfortable being she or they. She knows that we love her however she identifies but my problem is that I want that to come from her not from a club where it’s perceived as being cool. And also where there are much older students (up to age 18) who could be influencing her. How do I talk to school about this in a balanced way that expresses my concerns but doesn’t come across as bigoted (which I really don’t think I am).

It’s a huge safeguarding red flag that adults (ie those aged 18) are mixing with children - ie 10 and 11 year olds
that is a starting point

Agree that it’s entirely inappropriate for this age group to mix like this. I would speak to the school about this.

Not if it's a school club and they both attend the school. Should interaction between sixth formers and younger years really be seen as a safeguarding risk?

And there won't be many ten year olds in a secondary school? Most are nearly 12 minimum.

It’s a club about sexualities. So it is absolutely a safeguarding fail for adults to be mixing with minors in this particular club. What is appropriate support and discussion for those over the age of consent is not the same for 11 year olds.

I guess so. But surely in school they could talk about their sexuality with anyone of any age they happened to bump into if they were friendly with them and felt like it?

It isn’t a safeguarding issue.

I know what you mean OP but I’ve no idea how you’d approach it, honestly.

Do you really think schools work like that?!

But we also know that so far as the TQ+ is concerned these clubs are a grooming nightmare, run by sixth formers or activist teachers, neither of whom should be discussed adult sexuality with minors outside of PHSE. Enticing them in with stickers and pins is also a huge red flag.

It’s considered best practice to run two separate ones as the older students who are gay or TQ have very different support needs from the younger children,

it may be worth approaching from that angle.

you won’t get anywhere trying to shut it down.

Read the update from the OP on this thread to see why @Roseyposeypie is right to be concerned.

www.mumsnet.com/talk/thirty_days_only/5447722-urgent-dd-wants-me-to-help-ask-gp-for-referral-to-gender-clinic?page=2&reply=148743970

My Children have all been through this phase, like being “queer” in their words is their whole identity for awhile. They do come through it when they realise there are more interesting things about themselves than their sexual or gender identity.
I tend to smile and nod, listen don’t judge and let them figure it out in their own time, it is tedious when everything is about LGBT+ though!

This has basically been my approach too. I’ve seen some of my DS15’s friends go through it and come out the other side… but then I read things like the link posted above and I get really worried, especially as I do think DD is a little more prone to being influenced by others (especially those in power) than DS ever has been.

Just for info, I don’t think there have been stickers/badges given out from the club but she’s started buying them when out with friends or swapping things for them. It’s the interest rather than the badges themselves that seems to have come from the club.

Can you point me to anything that sets out that this is good practice? I’m thinking that might be something I could pick up with school.

I second that the TQ+ part of these clubs is basically grooming and recruiting for the cult of transgender ideology. Unfortunately some children do not come through it that easily, usually the ones who are autistic and have other mental health problems.