How do I help my gay daughter blend in/feel like less of an outsider?

[Greedybilly]

How do I help my gay daughter not feel like she stands out? She's amazing and got to a place where she's out and proud and fairly 'butch'. She has no other lesbian mates and all of her chums are vv girly /chase boys/ talk about make up etc. They're a good bunch but she feels she sometimes just wants to be one of the girls and not be treated slightly differently. So hard - off to college this year so I keep telling her she'll find her tribe - but will she? Noone wants to stand out at 16 i guess. Anyone any positive stories. High school has been so tough.

I have no idea if it's still the case now, but women's football used to be good for this. I played at Uni. I'm not a lesbian but was possibly in the minority! I'm not sure what youth teams are like, but might be worth asking around if she'd be interested in giving it a go.

@YeGodsandLittleFishies - i hear you. Yes i it's a tricky time - I've told her everyone else is secretly worrying about fitting in too.xx

@FlustrationShes not into sport - maybe she'll join at college or something- seems like a fab chance to make friends/get fit. Xx

Of course she can comment. She said she was surprised, and the OP confirmed that it was surprising, and a sad fact.

@SunnieShine I disagree. That's like a white person saying "I didn't think racism is a thing anymore". It's minimising and annoying.

No. That's a recent thing to 'gag' people.

@BrandonFlowersEyesWithEyeliner It's called minority stress. If you're not a minority you won't have experienced it. Nobody is trying to gag anyone, just please don't comment on what a lesbian's lived experience is like if you're straight. It's annoying and patronising.

I’m a Mum of one definitely gay, two potentially gay daughters (DD2 isn’t sure yet but she definitely not heterosexual). DD3 is almost 17 has been out since 14 and I know schools been tough for her, she’s mostly flown under the radar blended into the background for fear of standing out in any way. She’s applying for college instead of staying on another year and I think it’s the best thing, I’m hoping it will bring her out herself finally let her be herself completely. I would love for DD3 to find herself a lovely wee girlfriend she is such a kind person she deserves love. DD2 is at uni now and living with her trans bestie just being herself. As a Mum you just want your DC to be happy in themselves.

Hi op I have sent you a dm as I have a similar daughter. Also experienced a lot of low level homophobia at school. Sigh.

Was sending my eldest off to college nearly 2 years ago and at the open day we got chatting to the student welfare folks and an lgbtqia+ support group/ service. They were wonderful. Have a look and see what's available.