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LGBT children

This board is primarily for parents of LGBTQ+ children to share personal experiences and advice. Others are welcome to post but please be respectful that this is a supportive space.

Different rules for dating different sexes?

4 replies

DarkForces · 24/02/2025 08:03

Dd is 13 and bisexual. Her current gf is a year younger and the first boy/girl she's dated she actually seems to like. They asked each other out at a sleepover and then had a cuddle all night (there was another friend there so sure nothing else happened). The problem is Dd wants another sleepover and whist I don't have a massive problem with it I wouldn't allow it if she (the gf) was a boy. Also Dd is definitely still at the stage intimacy beyond a quick kiss is icky so it's all very sweet and safe.

However, I feel if I allow this for a girl I'd have to for a boy and that feels very different. The risks of being pushed into sex feel higher, obviously pregnancy is a risk... also as she wants to experience more with a partner my boundaries may shift. I can hardly allow her more freedom at 13 than 15!

Any advice on navigating this would help. I feel I probably should just say no to sleepovers with more than friends as all relationships are equal. When we started to discuss this I told her I thought this is where I'd end up as all her partners are equal to me whatever sex they are, but I've asked for some time to think about it.

Thanks to any parents who have been there, done that for any advice they can give on creating successful and supportive boundaries for a young bisexual teen girl.

OP posts:
H0PPLE · 24/02/2025 08:11

That is a tricky one OP. I'm interested in the answers others may have. Sorry not helpful!

DarkForces · 24/02/2025 08:16

Thanks @H0PPLE. I'm sure I'm missing something obvious but it does feel safer dating women than men, so I feel more relaxed about rules. Definitely need a sensible steer from parents who've been there done that!

OP posts:
Surreyblah · 17/04/2025 16:43

For us it was a hard no to sleepovers for any DC my DC were in a relationship with until 16 and GCSEs done, then after that only allowes it occasionally.

Risks with sex etc aren’t just limited to pregnancy, eg age of consent, emotions of it.

A few times we agreed to DC attending larger group sleepover things such as camping or birthdays.

RectifiedFootball · 19/08/2025 03:20

I would keep doing as you are. You are not somehow heterophobic for recognising the additional risks in straight sex and protecting her from that while still allowing her to enjoy things with girlfriends.

It makes perfect sense to me.

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