Anyone with a son under 18 on hormone blockers?

GiveMeStrengthAndVodka · 2025-02-05T18:16:14+00:00

I'll start this by saying DS still wants to be referred to with his male pronouns so I am still using them. My DS wants to go on hormone blockers. He turns 18 in a few months time. We looked into gender gp but I've found it so confusing. Being under 18 he can only use certain drugs but there isn't much guidance and which ones he should use. I started reading up on them and scared myself with the possible side effects. I just wondered if anyone else has experienced their child going through this and which medication they were put on?

HamandCheeseSandwich · 05/02/2025 18:31

Avoid them at all costs.

MinnieCauldwell · 05/02/2025 18:35

You have mixed terminology. If you mean puberty blockers, it's too late for that and I believe not legal in the UK. You probably mean cross sex hormones. If so, he needs to think long and hard about becoming a patient for life. Does he think he can actually change sex? If so, that's a problem!

PermanentTemporary · 05/02/2025 18:37

Has he seen a doctor?

What does he want to achieve with the medication?

weatherissweetenough · 05/02/2025 18:38

What does he hope to achieve?

He can't actually become a woman, but as a man there's nothing wrong with having long hair/wearing make up/nail varnish etc if that's what he wants. Hormones will potentially affect his sexual function and his fertility. Is he aware of that?

GreyDuck · 05/02/2025 18:49

Currently, prescribers in the UK are not allowed to start any new children (under18) on piberty blockers, and Pharmacies are not allowed to dispense them (including for prescriptions written abroad).
So in order to get hold of this treatment you would need both a prescriber and pharmacy not regulated in the UK.
I'm sure that it's possible to find ways of circumnavigating this, but I personally would have a lot of concern about who is regulating and what standards they are working to.

ChangingHistory · 05/02/2025 18:57

18 is probably too late for puberty blockers, I assume he's most if the way through puberty?

He might mean cross sex hormones, as in women's hormones which would soften his skin, reduce facial and body hair a bit, possibly let him grow breasts.

There are very serious implications to going on them, so make sure he has done the research. He needs a referral to an adult gender clinic from your GP.

Also make sure he knows that they can't turn him into a women. There are honestly people telling kids that they will grown the sex organs of the other sex, he's a bit old to believe that but you never know.

Lostthefight · 05/02/2025 19:27

My son used puberty blockers to pause development from 15.5 (while we tried to work through changing his outlook). He was almost 16 and then able to fully consent in gendergp’s eyes so I felt I could compromise and agree to that while talking, talking, talking.
They were then banned mid-treatment so he was moved to different drugs. Then at 17 chose to add female hormones. I’m gutted for him. He’s autistic, loves his maleness at times and has alarming ideas about what being outwardly perceived as a woman will allow him to do: cry, feel protected, wear certain clothes etc. All misogynistic rubbish but none of that talking changes his rigid outlook.
He now takes spiro, oestrogen and raloxifene while I wait for sense to kick in.

LittleBigHead · 05/02/2025 20:07

Using artificial hormones can be very dangerous.

AFAIK, the people running GenderGP (as a business) have been asked serious questions about their fitness to practice in the UK.

They sound more interested in your money than people’s health.

LittleBigHead · 05/02/2025 20:09

Big hug to you @Lostthefight I hope that as he matures, he realises his unique way of being the man that he is. It must be heart-breaking - as we all know that he’ll never be accepted as a woman in the way he anticipates.

carconcerns · 05/02/2025 20:13

To collude with these malfunctioning desires would be abuse 😔

WarmthAndDepth · 05/02/2025 20:24

My brother's DC's health was ruined by puberty blockers, cross sex hormones and, latterly, surgery. They're now, as a previous poster said, a patient for life, requiring ongoing hormone therapy, while also being on considerable amounts of medication to manage chronic pain, persistent depression and anxiety, circulatory and endocrine issues which have arisen as a result of taking testosterone and having surgery which has brought ongoing complications. 12 years into gender reassignment, their biggest regret is that the consequences of their treatment is that they have effectively excluded themselves from any prodpective dating pools, and that they will not be able to have children. It's a mess.

orangecocoa · 05/02/2025 20:53

WarmthAndDepth · 05/02/2025 20:24

My brother's DC's health was ruined by puberty blockers, cross sex hormones and, latterly, surgery. They're now, as a previous poster said, a patient for life, requiring ongoing hormone therapy, while also being on considerable amounts of medication to manage chronic pain, persistent depression and anxiety, circulatory and endocrine issues which have arisen as a result of taking testosterone and having surgery which has brought ongoing complications. 12 years into gender reassignment, their biggest regret is that the consequences of their treatment is that they have effectively excluded themselves from any prodpective dating pools, and that they will not be able to have children. It's a mess.

Edited

This is the same story as my friends (originally son) daughter .
The chronic pain was too much for her and she never achieved her goals and potential (very very bright and was unable to study or go to university ) due to this. Sadly she ended her life due to the pain at 26.

beadystar · 05/02/2025 21:01

WarmthAndDepth · 05/02/2025 20:24

My brother's DC's health was ruined by puberty blockers, cross sex hormones and, latterly, surgery. They're now, as a previous poster said, a patient for life, requiring ongoing hormone therapy, while also being on considerable amounts of medication to manage chronic pain, persistent depression and anxiety, circulatory and endocrine issues which have arisen as a result of taking testosterone and having surgery which has brought ongoing complications. 12 years into gender reassignment, their biggest regret is that the consequences of their treatment is that they have effectively excluded themselves from any prodpective dating pools, and that they will not be able to have children. It's a mess.

Edited

A friend's nephew has also done this. At age 22 they are now a life-long patient. A wound from castration that keeps getting infected, urinary incontinence, no longer fertile, depressed, I would assume anorgasmic, undateable and unemployable due to the above. He should just have been an effeminate gay man. It's very very sad.

Original poster

GiveMeStrengthAndVodka · 05/02/2025 21:17

Lostthefight · 05/02/2025 19:27

My son used puberty blockers to pause development from 15.5 (while we tried to work through changing his outlook). He was almost 16 and then able to fully consent in gendergp’s eyes so I felt I could compromise and agree to that while talking, talking, talking.
They were then banned mid-treatment so he was moved to different drugs. Then at 17 chose to add female hormones. I’m gutted for him. He’s autistic, loves his maleness at times and has alarming ideas about what being outwardly perceived as a woman will allow him to do: cry, feel protected, wear certain clothes etc. All misogynistic rubbish but none of that talking changes his rigid outlook.
He now takes spiro, oestrogen and raloxifene while I wait for sense to kick in.

This sounds very similar to my son. He knows he won't be a woman but I do worry that he thinks people will think he is.
The difference with my son is he hates everything male about his body. He becomes quite distressed by his changing features and physique as he gets older. I feel incredibly helpless. There's absolutely no help or therapy available. I message people and never get replies or they only deal with adults

OP posts:

Toseland · 05/02/2025 21:49

A lot of kids are caught up in this and there is a lot of misinformation flying around. To me I couldn't let my kid go down a path with a future of medication, sterility and no sexual function - what kind of a life is that? Look at the Transgender Trend website.

EmpressaurusKitty · 05/02/2025 21:53

https://www.bayswatersupport.org.uk/ may be able to help.

Bayswater Support – For Parents with Trans-identified Kids

https://www.bayswatersupport.org.uk

Leafstamp · 05/02/2025 22:02

@GiveMeStrengthAndVodka are you or your son able to take a step back and focus on his wellbeing more generally - is he exercising? Eating well? Is he studying or working? Got hobbies and interests he enjoys?

If he hates his body I would be tempted to research what (self-help) strategies are known to be helpful to those with other types of body dysmorphia or low self esteem.

fashionqueen0123 · 05/02/2025 22:05

Lostthefight · 05/02/2025 19:27

My son used puberty blockers to pause development from 15.5 (while we tried to work through changing his outlook). He was almost 16 and then able to fully consent in gendergp’s eyes so I felt I could compromise and agree to that while talking, talking, talking.
They were then banned mid-treatment so he was moved to different drugs. Then at 17 chose to add female hormones. I’m gutted for him. He’s autistic, loves his maleness at times and has alarming ideas about what being outwardly perceived as a woman will allow him to do: cry, feel protected, wear certain clothes etc. All misogynistic rubbish but none of that talking changes his rigid outlook.
He now takes spiro, oestrogen and raloxifene while I wait for sense to kick in.

How was he able to access using gender Gp as a child? Do they prescribe without parental consent?

fashionqueen0123 · 05/02/2025 22:08

GiveMeStrengthAndVodka · 05/02/2025 21:17

This sounds very similar to my son. He knows he won't be a woman but I do worry that he thinks people will think he is.
The difference with my son is he hates everything male about his body. He becomes quite distressed by his changing features and physique as he gets older. I feel incredibly helpless. There's absolutely no help or therapy available. I message people and never get replies or they only deal with adults

Show quote history

Does he have a father? Is he associating his body with something negative maybe?

Original poster

GiveMeStrengthAndVodka · 05/02/2025 22:22

His dad walked out when he was a baby and he doesn't see him. He tolerates my partner. He tries really hard with him but he's a very closed off person.
He's always been a "quirky" kid. Wanted to wear his sisters clothes from a young age. I've never tried to make a big deal out of it, just allowed him to be who he was etc.
He's been adamant for the past few years that he is not happy presenting as a boy. We've spoken to our GP who was lovely and very supportive but just gave numbers for charities etc and that was that. It's all very well the government/GMC whoever saying that you can't have these drugs until you turn 18 but there's absolutely no help in place to mentally support these adolescents whilst they wait. All the while I'm very aware of people online waiting to pounce on vulnerable young people like my son and turn him against his family. So I'm trying to support him. Trying to find help. Trying to fund a solution and not alienate him.
He's doing a lot of work on the other aspects of himself at the moment. He's having therapy for anxiety. He's incredibly negative and I'm trying to get him to practice gratitude and understand how lucky he is because he has a good life and an incredibly loving and supportive family around him.
It's just such a difficult situation and i don't know what to do for the best.

OP posts:

Original poster

GiveMeStrengthAndVodka · 05/02/2025 22:27

I should also add this has put immense strain on our family. It's absolutely hellish. My son is do miserable and it's very hard living in the same house as him at times. He reserves all his good energy for the outside world and all the negative gets taken out on me and his younger brother who he can be incredibly jealous of.

OP posts:

fashionqueen0123 · 05/02/2025 22:28

Sounds sensible. I wonder if he actually knows what he thinks getting those drugs would achieve. I mean he won’t turn into a woman and you say he knows that. When he says he doesn’t like presenting as a boy, what does that actually mean- it does sound like he doesn’t have a positive male role model. (Not saying that’s your fault!) does he have any friends? How is he doing at school? Is this filling a void of some kind do you think?
18 is still really young. Their brains still aren’t fully developed.

Original poster

GiveMeStrengthAndVodka · 05/02/2025 22:51

He has friends.....some better than others. He's only confided in a couple about his desires to be a girl. But he's quite sociable and enjoys going out.
He has a part time job which he likes and seems to ge doing well in. Is about to start a new course.
Alot of his motivation to work has been to earn money in order to afford this medication.
I try to talk to him about stuff. I've explained that I have to play the devil's advocate and ask difficult questions because I'm his mum and I wouldn't be doing my job properly if I didn't but he won't engage properly in such discussions. I've warned him of the side effects of the medication and things other posters have mentioned above but he just doesn't want to listen. I've even said about why does he need to do this why does he need to be a girl and he just says because he hates his body as a male one. That's all I get out of him before he gets really angry with me and locks himself away in his room presumably to watch more tik tok videos of other people like him.
He has self harmed in the past and told me he'd rather die than stay a man.

OP posts:

TransMother · 05/02/2025 22:51

Hi @GiveMeStrengthAndVodka I've sent you a PM regarding counselling for gender identity. I hope it helps.

LittleBigHead · 05/02/2025 23:50

GiveMeStrengthAndVodka · 05/02/2025 21:17

This sounds very similar to my son. He knows he won't be a woman but I do worry that he thinks people will think he is.
The difference with my son is he hates everything male about his body. He becomes quite distressed by his changing features and physique as he gets older. I feel incredibly helpless. There's absolutely no help or therapy available. I message people and never get replies or they only deal with adults

Show quote history

Have you contacted Genspect? They have a list of therapists who don’t use affirmation only. The podcast Gender a Wider Lens can be very helpful. And someone working with Genspect specifically concerned with young gay boys /men : Alasdair Fox, I think? Dr Az Hakim is also worth listening to. He used to run group therapy meetings for young men who think they’re trans.

I have a nephew born a girl. On testosterone since she was17 double mastectomy and all. She seems happier presenting to the world as a young gay man but I suspect I’ll outlive her. The cancer risk is so high.