Drag Brunch - any experience or recommendation? (Manchester)

[MancunianMum]

Hi there

Live in Manchester but haven't been to the Gay Village since I was a student (and even then I was probably appropriating, which is another thread).
Daughter and their enby partner coming to visit and wanted to go to a drag brunch. I won't be there as I have under 18s to look after.

I can find one in the Gay Village which is Drag Divas and £45/a head or one in The Bread Shed that is a Britney Tribute/drag compere - you can see the show only for £17.50 but no idea what separate bar prices would be.

Daughter isn't keen on burgers and their partner doesn't really drink so a bottomless brunch would be a waste of money for them.

Has anyone been to any of these?
As a couple on their own, will they get dragged pardon the pun, for not being in a group or not doing the actual brunch? Will they get heckled or othered like you might in a comedy show? Will the drinks be so expensive they may as well have spent £100+

Any other recommendations for Lesbian friendly bars or events?
Thanks in advance xx

I'm afraid I can't advise on Drag Brunches, despite regularly attending the village in Manc it's not a concept I've really come across!

However, I just wanted to give my advice that in my experience, anything Drag is going to be very far from lesbian friendly! If the Enby partner is AFAB and they are likely to perceived as a lesbian couple there is a very good chance they'll be "interacted with" unless there happen to be lots of other lesbians couples there to blend in with, which seems unlikely. The jokes may well be crude and at their expense, you need a thick skin.

Have they attended much drag in real life? The real shows are very very different from Ru Paul's Drag Race! They might be in for a shock.

I'd honestly recommend they just stroll around and find the place that fits their vibe. I've always had a great time at Vanilla, it's a lesbian bar and they get a good crowd but it's an evening place.

Is drag lesbian friendly? Appropriation and degradation of women with some fishy genital jokes thrown in?

As a gay woman I can't imagine anything more vile.

Also if your daughters partner is 'enby' how are they lesbians? Wouldn't that mean they were 2 women?

Ah fuck. I should have bumped the thread. I've just seen your response. Thank you so much for responding. It is too late - Britney tickets are booked
And I won't be there to deflect/protect.
DD likes RPDR and wanted to go - I don't think she has a clue what she's letting herself in for, although I think there'll be hen dos and the like there potentially.
They present to all extents and purposes as a lesbian couple.
Do drag acts hate lesbians? That I did not know. Fuck.
Her partner is also English as a second language, a little hearing impaired and sensitive I think to being referred to as female (I know but not a hill I'm dying on).
They both only know drag from RuPaul I think. I saw a Drag show online during lockdown - kings and queens - and it was not toned down, no.
I'll recommend Vanilla for a drink at night. This Britney thing was afternoon 12-4.

I honestly don't know - is this your experience?
Are drag queens only for gay men then? Is the demographic going to be gay stag dos?! I don't think I can get her a refund.
I have heard - but only on here tbf - fishy as a thing but it wasn't on the virtual show I saw but that's my only experience of live drag. I don't think it'd appropriation or degradation personally - it depends very much who it is performing. I saw drag kings and drag queens but I had no idea it would be lesbophobic. I thought most queens would be LGBTQIA+ friendly and take the piss out of the straights (i.e me).
DD won't cope. Fuck.

I've been to one bar when a drag queen was on and he zoned in on me and my girlfriend and made fun of our hair (bright) our clothes and the fact we weren't laughing, it wasn't funny. We didn't go as a drag event we just went in for a drink and the drag act came out.

I found it really upsetting TBH, all he did was pick out everyone's physical flaws and insecurities and make jokes about women's genitals.

We left.

This was gay village, I'm from Manchester too

I could say Pansexual Friendly Bar if you prefer
For me, they are a queer couple. They are both biologically female.
Certainly they'll come across to observers as a lesbian couple, no matter how DD's partner identifies (they present as cute butch. I have no idea why they identify as non-binary. I haven't and won't ask).
DD loves them. That's it. I just want them both to have a good weekend, a good impression of Manchester and to feel safe and accepted. It wasn't my idea for them to do the drag brunch. I was just facilitating. I'll warn her so at least it's an informed decision I guess.
If you have any insider tips, let me know x

Triple fucking fuck. I'm sorry you had that experience and I'm angry for you
I will speak to DD tonight and tell her. It's a four hour thing ffs. I'd need bottomless cider myself to get through it although I do love a Britney song (that doesn't look like a drag artist just a tribute).
If she's pre-warned she can decide herself whether to up and leave or not. Alternatively my middle daughter looks after her brother and I go as well as I can give as good I get. Not ideal at all though. I've been the butt of a joke in comedy clubs at least twice but that goes with the territory although one of those I was pregnant and Reginald D Hunter was an absolute arse.

Maybe there won't be much comedy/banter of it more musical themed? 🤞

Yep, my experiences match @RealityOfIt, drag queens are really brutal to lesbians.

I've had some horrible experiences in bars with drag queen nights. The worst one I was there with a friend (both of us lesbians but not together) and the drag queen just made relentless jokes about us having sex, and holding the mic to us but kind of "dubbing" to make us say obscene stuff. Everyone (men and presumably straight women) was roaring with laughter, we were in the middle of the crowd so couldn't easily leave, it was horrendous.

I've had other, much milder, bad experiences too.

Drag race and the internet have made it seem like there's this happy LGBTQ family but it's not the whole reality, there's a lot of nuance.

I think she's in for an awful afternoon then. I'll keep my fingers crossed for her but not hold my breath. She has a good sense of humour, is self-deprecating and can take the piss out of herself but this just sounds like it's going to be the opposite of what she was expecting. She'd have been better off going to Góbéfest instead. I'll tell her to have a Plan B.

Really sorry, I feel like we've ruined your excitement a bit but best to be forewarned!

Perhaps a brunch event would be a different vibe, all my experience has been evening, everything crossed they have a good time!

if I dressed up in blackface, with exaggerated features, it wouldn't be acceptable. Yet men dressing up as women, with big tits etc seems to be fine. Its outright misogyny.
maje it make sense

I can't make it make sense for you lovely. It's something you either hate/abhor or enjoy/admire. It's very marmite and split on here and yes, maybe one day, future generations will recoil and cancel it. I don't have a crystal ball.
I respect your viewpoint and see why you see it as Womanface and there are performers I personally can't stand/have zero time for, Jimbo being one of them.
Others though I see talent and amazing make up skills and costume and charisma. Lily Savage I loved before Paul retired her. RPDR I do watch and have chatted about with DD who follows it where she is.
I think RuPaul has done a lot for the gay community but I had no idea drag culture mocked, targeted or hurt gay women specifically. I have heard of gay men being accused in general of hating women on here but that hasn't been my personal experience and I hate generalisations.
I like RPDR because I like glam, dance, lip syncing (also watch lip sync battles on Paramount) and glow ups/artistry - I see some performance as art, the same as burlesque performers like Dita. It would be really boring if we all liked the same things.
So whilst I respect your opinion and right to have it, I wasn't posting in Feminism or AIBU. I was posting in LGBT children.
Three posters above, two of whom are local, have been critical without being judgemental and have been helpful including opening my eyes to the culture being not validating for my daughter/to be part of something/to be entertained but that she might end up hurt or humiliated.
I've thanked them all as I would hate to see my daughter hurt or chastened or attacked. If she gets to do Vanilla at all at night instead, maybe she'll enjoy the village. I had considered booking Hotel Velvet for her but thought it might be too loud at night. That's all really. Peace and Love Xx

We've been out in Manchester gay village (group of bi / gay women in our 40s) and several bars have had drag events on, it seems to be the norm on canal street these days. Tbh the village caters for hen dos & works nights out first and foremost, closely followed by gay men and then queer/studenty types.

A daytime drag brunch will probably be a similar clientele. It's always felt friendly and safe though and I've never seen anyone singled out because of how they look or present. It's usually the prosecco'd up hen or birthday boy/girl that (willingly!) gets the extra attention.

Vanilla is dark and loud but pretty much the only lesbian only place. I'm sure she will have an OK time there even if it's not exactly RPDR standards of entertainment!