How can I help my son?

[Anonymoususer2024]

My son has felt he is in the wrong body since he was 13 years old.
He is a very shy child and has never had the self confidence to change. but now at 23 years old feels that he has to transition now for the sake of his mental health.
He is looking to purchase medication on the Internet to change from male to female.
This worries me but he is a Adult and is determined to do this.
He is happy for me to support him on his transition but how can I help him? I think I'm hoping someone can tell me a name of a website he can use that is regulated and 'safe' as he is going to go ahead even though he understands the risks.

I'd try and get him to get in touch with a clinic, rather then order riskily over the internet.

Stonewall may also be able to help.

I know it's going to be hard for you - it's hard for the most accepting parent - but ultimately her mental health is very important - many trans people self harm or take their lives because they feel unwanted, unloved and out of place.

Sorry you are in this position and that your child is struggling.

Has he had any professional help for his mental health such as seeing a therapist? Or has he jumped to the conclusion by himself that transitioning will solve all his problems? Is he autistic?

You should encourage him to explore the root cause of his problems with a therapist first before medical treatment. You should join the Bayswater parent support group and read the Cass review.

Since 13? Yeah, there is a good chance they might actually be trans. I recommend just trying to be accepting. I know it might be hard for you since you've known you're child be your "son" for so long but their happiness should be your priority. I would also recommend just checking with a therapist or a mental health expert to make sure it isn't a result of trauma or anything and that your child really wants to transition.

Has he seen a therapist? https://thoughtfultherapists.org are non affirming therapists who encourage people to explore why they feel like they are a different gender. The NHS has adult services so your son should discuss it with his doctor. A lot of young men develop a fetish for dressing as the opposite sex from watching porn. You're probably not going to want to discuss that with him but maybe be aware that this might be a reason. You are doing the right thing by being open to what he is saying to you. I'm sorry he's so unhappy.