Hi,
I have posted a couple of times before. I want some advice/reassurance on my approach.
Long story short. DD is 18 (still in school)
She has been completely dressing as a boy for 18 months (before this was very feminine), cut her hair short around the same time. Still using female pronouns and her female name (to my knowledge- certainly still at school)
She said she was bi 2 years ago but pretty sure she’s gay (especially how she is presenting right now) but hasn’t openly dated anyone up to this point.
Sometimes wears a binder (not openly)
Hasn’t ever had regular periods but recently when she gets them talks about getting a hysterectomy because she never wants kids so what’s the point. This hasn’t been the case for the past few years.
She has never spoken about being gay (which we would whole heartedly support- we don’t care who she loves!) but as far as being trans is concerned she hasn’t openly become male nor has she had regular therapy (last therapy was over 2 years ago for school stress/ Covid issues) nor has she talked about it.
Our approach is watchful waiting I suppose. I’m used to how she looks and okay if that is as far as it goes for now but honestly, the idea of life altering major surgery (ie a hysterectomy or top surgery) just fills me with dread because even though she’s 18 she has no idea how she’ll feel in 5 years, 10 years…
She leads a very busy life, school, job, getting ready for University. I just am terrified that some doctor somewhere will entertain her at such a young age.
I guess I want some reassurance - if she was 25+ with years of specialist therapy and completely living as a male openly then at that point I could maybe accept it. I just don’t want her thinking because she’s technically an adult she can be making decisions that she may live to regret as her brain matures.
We adore her- she’s an awesome person. I just wish she felt she could just be her, as is, openly gay, dressing how she wants to and proud to be her.
Thanks for listening!