Does your school have an LGBTQ club?

[smedrock]

My child wanted to start one in their secondary school and while some of the teachers have been supportive, the senior managers haven't.
I'm meeting the head soon. How can i convince him it's important when their line is that they want all students to have equal wellbeing support? Are there clubs in your schools? Thanks!

Lots of schools have these and I imagine they could be helpful if run properly and appropriately and by a suitable member of staff.

I'd be wary of including the 'Q' in your request as the DfE doesn't recognise beyond LGBT.

You said the school's line is that they want all students to have equal wellbeing support.... Is there a reason why students who are LGB or who have gender issues cannot access the same support that the other students get?

If there is a LGBT club then are there/should there be clubs for other protected groups?

It may be that senior leaders are not aware of a suitable member of staff to run the group, resources are stretched. Also, they will not want an activist type teacher running the group as there would be a risk of breaching political impartiality that is required by law of teachers.

There is a thought provoking piece here from a gay teacher who ran an LGBT club in school : www.transgendertrend.com/school-lgbt-club/

Ours does. It's for 11-18 year olds which I feel is completely inappropriate.

There was at my DD's schools. Very necessary as some students were ostracised or even thrown out of their homes for coming out ("cultural" reasons - I use that loosely as I don't accept that a loving god or prophet would want you to disown your own child!)

A teacher, gay themselves facilitated the groups at each school but they are student led. By early teens most young people are aware of their sexuality

My DCs secondary do yes, and have done for 3 years. They even took part in the pride parade last year locally, the only school who did, and had a massive banner.

Our school however is very progressive, quite a young staff group and the headteacher brought in a bullying policy which includes LGBTQ+ students and racism, which are both treated seriously.

I would suggest telling school that homosexuality is a protected characteristic and unless it's a faith school, there is no reason not to allow students to meet and support each other with the backing of the teachers you mentioned.

I recall the first meeting DD went to, where the staff members asked for any questions. One asked "well why are you running the club? Did the head make you" to be told that no, actually, the teacher is openly gay and knew how hard school can be without support if you are out or aren't ready to be out to family yet. Since then staff wear a rainbow ribbon lanyard for their key card so students know who they can speak to.

I would suggest it's no different to any other club in school and would be an asset that goes hand in hand with pupil development and mental health support.

Why inappropriate?

My DD came out to us at 13 but said they knew when they were 12 at least.

To exclude a year group would be the very opposite of what a LGBTQ club is hoping to offer. At the one at DCs school, allies are welcome too.

I wouldn't think LGB children & young people should be herded together under this banner. Its the opposite of inclusion. Totally get that schools can be hugely helpful in running groups for ostracised (for any reason) but please call it something else. IME disenfranchised youngsters quickly become very influenced by the T+ elements. Surely a mix is better, for example are there children from ethnic minorities who might like to join this type of group, or anyone who needs new friends and some support but making it a sexuality based thing can exclude rather than include.

Because some Mey be sexually active above the age of consent and some are children at a very different stage developmentally and may be vulnerable. Also a group exclusively based on sexuality can attract people for the wrong reasons and serve to exclude the group in question. It sounds like a good idea but in practice is a breeding ground for T+ capturing.

Having 11 year olds around 18 year olds discussing there sexuality IS inappropriate. Sorry I'm just not that 'right on'.

Id actually be really concerned about trans ideology being pushed and what safeguarding was in place when these kids are actually potentially gay or lesbian. Same sex teenage crushes are very common - why the hell would anyone be trying to pigeon hole children in to sexualities before they have even left school?

My family member is in a same sex marriage with two children and they are embarrassed at what they are pushing in schools

@TeamadIshbel @coldcoffee12
I am glad I am not the only one to have these concerns. Support should be age appropriate. Even a lower school / upper school split would be far better.

Absolutely. An 11 year old is at a way different developmental stage than a 13/14/15 - 18 year old.

Absolutely agree that there are risks running this type of club with the age range 11-18.

Also, I don't think Pride events are a suitable to take school children to. Too much fetish IMO.

Single sex school and it is held at lunch time once a fortnight with the same teacher supervising.

Safeguarding nightmare. See also 'rainbow lanyard = safe staff member' red flag waving there in the breeze.

Ours does but it's all about the T (of course) Homophobia is rife because it's all about the T. Gay is a frequent insult at the school for which students are punished but it continues to be an issue. Lots of flags and lanyards and some declared pronouns on emails although that seems to have stopped. If you're called Domin

Dominic or Charles I'm pretty sure you're going to be male so I don't need to know your pronouns.

My son attends a small school very new. One teacher set a group up and has one overarching group where common issues, are discussed and then he has age groups to allow age appropriate support.

They invite allies to engage on projects around well being, history, culture - as in Irish culture and key roles held by members of LGBTQ community. Parents from their community have also been offered a space to meet in the school separately to get and give feedback.

I hope ours hasn't got the T bit. That nonsense shouldn't be being peddled to children whatsoever.

It would be nice if the lesbians, gays and bi's could just access exactly the same services as the heterosexual children can. It would be nice if they didn't need a special club.

I think it's really sad that you would assume immediately that kids that young are encouraged to talk about sex and it's an exercise in getting them all to change pronouns.

The group my DD is in is nothing like that at all. It's very sensitively handled and more a case of supporting each other.

In my DD's case, they have friends from a year below them who know if they feel down or get grief, they can find DD and just have a shoulder. It's also helpful for those kids who know very definitely that they are gay but due to circumstances won't be able to be open at home. Our school has a hugely diverse community and sadly, some are brought up to feel ashamed of their sexuality. This group is a safe space. Because nobody should be made to feel dirty or wrong over their sexuality.

As for Pride, all the members there had supportive parents and we went on the march with them, along with three teachers and a support staff member. The pride we go to marches in distinct groups so we saw very little fetish stuff. It was colourful and bright and incredibly noisy and even when it rained the kids didn't moan, DD would usually demand a car ride to the end of the road but was having so much fun she walked for hours.

The fact that some of you are so vocally anti is proof of why a sensitive group is so necessary

I can't say the name of DDs group as it would be hugely outing but it's actually not got LGBTQ in the title and as I say is inclusive of LGBTQ and ally pupils.

DD's school has one. She set it up as she's a young lesbian who experienced homophobia in years 8 and 9 in particular. She set it up in y10 and she and two friends largely run it (she's y11 now) and it is overseen by the diversity/inclusion lead and the head of English. Both are largely gender critical (as is DD). It's not T-dominated and is an extremely positive addition to school life. DD gives small talks sometimes and they do activities, research books for the library and learn about LGB icons. They made badges recently (no pronouns because DD has led on pronoun fixation being harmful to women and the school agrees), did a bake sale, creative writing competition, some songwriting. It's important for some of the young students who need somewhere that feels safe. One girl attending has very religious and homophobic parents and can't talk about her identity at home, having to actively hide it. Like it or not, homophobia also exists in school, even in everyday language and Pride club is a place where it's never a problem. They call it Gay Club most of the time and it's a good thing imo.

@ShowOfHands your Dd sounds awesome! I wish our school had a similar club.

I attended an LGBT youth group from age 11-18 with members up to 18. It was a fantastic, formative part of my life. There were a couple of T people there. I learned about History, fell in love (and lost it!), took part in art activities and marched at Pride. My town was and is quite conservative, I was bullied at school and made to feel like I was a threat in toilets and changing rooms. It was great to have people who understood to turn to.

We created resources and conducted research tackling homophobia and transphobia/prejudice against gender non conforming people. There was some educational talk about sex, which was handy because we were having (straight) sex ed in school anyway... They don't talk about dental dams!

Overall, it's a good idea. Wishing you luck and I think you should go for it.

Your dd sounds great!

I'm not sure why people see a club for LGB children so odd and harmful. They have groups for disabled children and children with SEND and always have. They are another minority group.

You have drama groups, music and dance groups. They are basically just clubs for like minded people or safe spaces for those who can't talk about things or feel they can't publicly.

I agree with itsgettingweird. Having gone through the process of coming out as lesbian myself and attending a youth group this was post school I didn't come out until I was leaving school. it was all about mutual support, we certainly didn't talk about sex we were too shy and there wasn't any propaganda. Just choosing to be there with other people who were choosing to be there too was powerful. As long as there is a suitable adult with the skills to run the group I don't see the problem. Attending student support just wouldn't be the same at all. Its very strange that you think that a teacher being open enough to wear a rainbow lanyard is dodgy, would you think that about a teacher wearing a wedding ring as they are advertising they are heterosexual?

Its very strange that you think that a teacher being open enough to wear a rainbow lanyard is dodgy, would you think that about a teacher wearing a wedding ring as they are advertising they are heterosexual?

A big 'vulnerable kids come talk to me' badge of honour you mean?

Do kids seek out teachers with wedding rings as 'hetero allies'? Really?