Same sex sleepovers

[Akiddleydiveytoo]

Hello

My DD1 (15yo) has been with her GF (also 15yo) for around 5 months. GF is a lovely girl and is has been really good for my DD1 in bringing her our of her shell and helping with her anxiety etc. She really seems to care for my DD1 and makes her happy which is all I could wish for for my DD.

DD1 had now asked if her GF can sleep over on the weekend and I must admit I'm a bit flummoxed as I hadn't really thought about the logistics of my DC bringing partners home.

If DD1 was in a heterosexual relationship then I'm fairly sure my answer would be no (or at least the BF would be sleeping on the sofa and not in her room) but I'm not really sure what to think about letting an underage same sex couple sleep in the same room.

DD only really came out to us a few months ago so, whilst I have no issues whatsoever with her sexuality or her relationship I am still very new to all this so would appreciate a bit of guidance (or at least a bit of food for thought).

Would you let your 15yo DCs same sex partner sleep over in the same room as your DC?

No. Why would the rules be any different for homosexual couples?

Place marking as this will come up for me soon.

I think you'd treat it the same as a heterosexual couple. I would explain this to your daughter as well. If anything you are being respectful and treating her relationship with all the seriousness of a hetro one.

I think it is very different in that she can't get pregnant! Still I think it seems more equal to say no if you would say no to boys. Why not say she can stay but sleep on the sofa as that is what you'd say for a boy.

Do whatever you'd do for a heterosexual couple.

My 15 year is bisexual;she wouldn't be allowed to have her GF stay over if she had one the same as she wouldn't be allowed to have a BF stay over if she had one either.

I was thinking it's different in that there's far less risk. No chance of pregnancy, reduced chance of most STDs...
I suppose the main question is one of emotional maturity?

I would let them unless you have other children who might then want to follow suit. It might set a precedent you wouldn’t be happy with in future if you don’t approve of partners or have concerns about pregnancy. What do her girlfriend’s parents think?

I wouldn't allow it

Heterosexual or same sex sleepovers at 15? Nope

And the fact that a same sex couple can't get pregnant isn't a reason to allow it - there's so much more to it than an unplanned pregnancy

At 15, no. That’s very different to 17/18 and in a serious longer term relationship. That’s how I would draw the distinction.

Sorry no for me you have to treat them as a couple and not friends and explain that to your daughter and a few months is a bit to soon for overnight stays with a partner despite age for some people

I am lgbt and yes I would let her. The thing about a same sex relationship is that when you're a teenager, they might well be your gf but they're also likely to be your best friend you want to hang out with too

I'd also probably say fine. My DS1 and his BFF female friend have always had sleepovers together. It looks like they're both gay so that takes a pressure off now they're teens but that's an aside.

I understand the PPs who say have the same rules as a het couple, but it's not the same.

I agree with @Angelofthenortheast in that at that age, your DD's girlfriend is essentially her bestie. She may or may not remain a lesbian and this relationship may or may not persevere, who knows?

Let them have one in bed and one on floor. Let them have a lovely girlie sleepover together.

One fear of a boyfriend staying over is that he'd pressure her into something she's not comfortable with.

One fear of not allowing her girlfriend to stay over is that she'll not tell you the truth about her feelings for other girls so that they can stay over.

Obviously the pregnancy worry is moot.

I'm also a lesbian if that's relevant

let her come over, set up a sofa-bed, and before she goes to sleep let her be in dd's bedroom with the door cracked. CRACKED, not open. she should sleep on the couch or in the spare room if you have one. straight couples and gay couples should have the same rules.

I'm gay, and the answer would be yes. If they're going to be intimate they're going to do it anyway.

It's not the same as a straight couple. 2 girls the same age are more likely to be on the same page when it comes to intimacy, there's no power imbalance which can be created between men/women boy/girls, there's no chance of pregnancy, there very little chance of sti's.
It is different.

Lesbian here.
No. They are under the legal age of consent, and possibly not emotionally mature enough to handle sex. 15 is still very young.

i would let them who says they would have sex. they are likely good friends and would do normal sleepover stuff