My son told me last night he is bisexual

[minmooch]

He's 25. I knew something has been troubling him (for want of another expression) for a long time. He was very tearful the other day but wasnt ready to talk to me so we agreed I'd take him out for dinner last night. He looked tortured when I got there and didn't want to go out until he'd told me something.

He told me he is bisexual. I asked him if that was it? I was worried he was going to tell me something awful! He was shocked at how relaxed I was.

I told him the only thing that upset me was the fact that he has taken so long to feel he could tell me or thought I would be upset. I told him that I loved him and only cared that he was happy, that I'd love him to find happiness with someone whether they be male or female.

His whole face changed and the tension seemed to just drain from him.

We've been through so much - he lost his older brother to cancer 10 years ago just as he was exploring his sexuality. Maybe he felt he didn't want to add to what was going on. I feel sad that he couldn't tell me at that time, or since.

I hope that now he's told me he can relax and be more comfortable in his own skin. All I want for him is to be happy.

He's nervous about telling his dad (we are divorced) but I hope his dad is understanding.

I couldn't love my son any more than I do now and am so proud of him.

I hope I can be the best mum to him and help him be happy within himself.

He’s lucky to have you.

You’re lucky to have him.

❤️

Well done you.
you handled that well xxx

Aw. Bless him.
Just going through this with ds2 (13).
It's so sad they worry about telling us isn't it?
I think of you and dear Will often xxx

Lots of ❤️ for you and your son.

My 19 year old dd also told me this week she likes “girls as well as boys”. This was just dropped into a bubbly conversation in the car coming back from shopping. I sort of already knew, even though I don’t know how I knew, I just sort of said oh that’s nice, as long as you’re happy and with someone who treats you nicely… and then we just carried on the conversation. No big deal whatsoever. In fact I’m now wondering if I should have made more of a thing about it as perhaps for her it was a huge deal telling me?! I have no idea…! Me and dh have always just been very laid back about it all. She’s always had loads of gay / bi / trans friends so she knows from that that we’re completely non fussed about it all. 😁

Perfect response!

Love this. Amazing mother!!!
So glad the weight is off his shoulders ❤️❤️

You're both so lucky to have each other ❤️
It sounds like you're doing an amazing job as a parent x

Perfect response @minmooch - what a lovely supportive parent you are ❤

I think we are heading towards a similar conversation in our household- loads of clues being dropped but nothing said so far, and I'm not sure how long to leave it before broaching the subject.

I'm so incredibly proud of my young adult and want to ensure they are happy and feel loved and supported.

Loved your understanding and acceptance towards your son. I work with teenagers and adults who are so frightened of revealing themselves in case they ‘let people down’.

I think it’s exciting that young people are able to explore their sexuality these days and have more adventurous relationships.

I wish him the best for when/if he explains to his dad. It can feel like a bereavement for family as the person informed may not have the future that they envisaged. It sometimes takes a while, if ever, for some to digest. Good luck ❤️

I find it quite sad that people say they’re upset it took the person so long to tell them, like it’s something so odd that it obviously needed announcing and they needed to be informed. I’d only be sad that he thought it needed saying at all.

*LotsOfPaws’ people are complex and not always easy to read. Parents like to think their offspring can trust them with anything but this can be a thing that is pondered about for a long time as it can be so confusing for the bearer I guess.

@LotsOfPaws my son wanted to talk to me - not announce it, just talk to me about this part of himself that I was not aware of.

And yes I am sad that my son felt like it was a big deal to tell me, that I might be disappointed in him. It's been another burden my son has carried alone and I am relieved for him that that pressure (that he admittedly has put on himself) has released slightly.

Your response was perfect, he's lucky to have you as his mum.
My daughter told me she was bi when she was a similar age to your ds. She'd been dropping hints apparently and I'd not picked up on any! I gave a very light reply similar to a pp and we've not discussed it again. I think she just needed me to know.