Son came out as gay

[emzylou76]

Before Christmas my son came out to me as gay. He came out to my parents at the weekend months later. My mum took it ok and my step dad was rude and dismissed it and just said " happy days ". They are very old fashioned in thinking that all gays are lovely as my mum put it!😳 So I have to educate them on not how to talk about it as a fashion accessory 😡. My son has my full support bit lately he has been showing signs of anxiety and social anxiety and he doesn't want to go out he has had panic attacks and I feel alot of this is his exams GCSE looming and the bullyimg he has had a school which has been dealt with. He explained to me of he goes anywhere he has feelings of dread and that his anxiety is bad even if he is with someone. I'm referring him to camhs as the school haven't got space for him to have counceling. I'm just so worried about his mental health right now .

My gay DS is yr11 as well and has some anxiety that the school has helped him with. It’s a massive deal for them, it adds a whole other aspect to peer interactions- teenage boys are, as a rule, immature idiots about gay people.

I’d be inclined to minimise family interactions that are difficult for him until the exams are done. He’s got enough on his plate without having to deal with more than he has to right now.

The school team recommended some apps to help to manage the anxiety (can’t remember the names, will get them when he’s home). Talking about it helped my DS a lot, just being able to verbalise it sometimes takes away the power of the anxieties.

And knowing that it’s ‘ok’ and ‘normal’ to have anxiety as well. Feeling broken or different strengthens its hold so acknowledging it and knowing that it’s part of you not all of you- that sort of thing.

My Ds is 14 and I was checking messages on his phone for something totally unrelated and I found a chat between him and one of his good friends. He was telling her he fancies a boy in yr 11 and that he thought he would deal with being gay ok as his uncle my brother is gay but he is really struggling. Absolutely no surprise but I know my husband will not deal with it. Can I just ask out of interest how your husbands/partners/ sons dad coped with finding out their son was gay. Thanks

@folly115 my DH wasn’t thrilled, he has gay male friends but somehow it was different it being his son. We had words- not in earshot of DS. What really helped him was it transpired a bloke at work also had a gay son who was away at uni having a whale of a time. It helped DH see that DS wouldn’t be hemmed in by it, slightly odd but we’re human I suppose.

Must be half term in England or something.