LGBT+ Group for 14 to 25 year olds?

[HereForTheGloss]

A local Community Interest Company is advertising a weekly LGBTQIA+ meeting for young people aged 14 to 25.

I am responsible for a young person that has expressed an interest in attending but I have a concern about the age range and am not that happy about a 'young for their age' 14 year old, or any 14 year old actually, mixing with 25 year olds when the focus of these sessions (I assume) is on sexuality and gender identity. The only information I can find about the sessions online is that sessions act as a gateway for members to meet others from the same community, they also teach attendees the importance of LGBTQ+ history.

This is all new to us and the age range feels off to me. I'd be more comfortable if the meeting was for age 13 to 16 year olds for example.

I emailed the organisation to ask about the format and content of the meetings and the supervision and safeguarding procedures in place. I basically want to know who has eyes and ears on these children during the meetings to make sure they're not being groomed by the adult attendees at the meetings.

I got a response which did not answer any of my questions. The response was that they're "a professional organisation with all policies and procedures in place. I understand your concerns around 14 year olds mixing with 25 year olds but as a qualified teacher I risk assessed and made a decision based on the need for the group after receiving calls from parents who wanted their 14 year olds to be able to attend. As a mum and nan I treat the people in our care with the same respect that I treat my own. The group is always facilitated by one volunteer with lived experience and a qualified professional".

I can't find any policies, procedures or risk assessment info on the website. The CIC has been set up by 2 people and they and several of the volunteers have a bio on the website in which they detail their own mental health issues, how they were victims of child abuse, alcoholism, gender questioning from a young age, etc, but nothing about any relevant qualifications they have, or courses or training they've undertaken, or DBS checks.

Would they be required to have all this stuff in place and should they show me a copy of their risk assessments and policies if I ask to see them? Do I have the right to ask if everyone working there is DBS checked and ask for proof?

Tell me honestly am I just being ridiculously over protective? As I said if I knew it was a group of 13 to 16 year olds I'd feel much more comfortable as I'd see them more as peers, I'm not comfortable with a 14 year old hanging out and chatting about sexuality and sex with 25 year olds.

You are not being over protective! I, too, would be concerned about that age range but, moreover, concerned about an organisation that seems to resist providing suitable responses to legitimate questions.

If you had a 14 year old child (not gay) interested in learning more about human sexuality would you send him or her to a group of 14-25 year olds to learn about their “lived experience” with relationships and sex? Of course not!!

If you want to provide your child with role models, perhaps try to find people you know with gay children or relatives who would be willing to meet to discuss their experiences (how they made friends at school and university (gay, straight, whatever), how they found safe places to meet other gay people, how they found work where they dealt with any discrimination (perceived or real), etc). If you ask around, you will most likely find people who know you g adults who have navigated the oaths your child might face and can provide useful guidance.

I would stay miles away from a group such as the one you describe. As for DBS checks: when I had one, it was returned (approved) within days — startling as I have lived and worked on four continents so the DBS people couldn’t possibly have checked me thoroughly in such a short time. I have nothing sinister in my background … but if I did, it wouldn’t have been found in the sparse checking done by DBS. I would not take any comfort from being told youth group leaders are DBS-checked. Do your own research and do not send your child to any group unless you are confident of the perspectives and motives of the leaders and other attendees.

I agree that's far too big an age range. A group for 14-16 year olds, a group for 16-19 years olds and a group for age 20+ would be much more safe and sensible.