Dd best friend is her GF

[PeskyYeti]

My daughter is 12 and her best friend is 11. They've been friends since reception.
She's told me she's bi a few months ago, and now has told me best friend has become GF.

I'm really close with the other mum, but she doesn't know her daughter is bi or that they're now apparently dating.

I'm so split, between not wanting to betray my daughters trust and feeling like I'm lieing to my friend. I dropped the girls off at the cinema today, and picked them up after. It was their first date apparently.

What should I do?

Sleepovers are a regular thing between our two houses, so other mum will think it strange these have stopped. I'm so confused!

PeskyYeti I think you need to keep your dd's secret.

What's the problem for them in dating at the moment. They are both very young and hopefully it is quite innocent.

There is no risk of pregnancy and so the issue is not quite the same if they were a male and a female and slightly older.

However, I think you could encourage your dd to encourage her friend to talk to the parents if it is appropriate.

Good luck.

I think I probably wouldn't mind my DD having sleep overs if she was dating a girl, aged 12.

It's all probably pretty innocent, plus there's no risk of pregnancy which is the main reason it's so important to keep mixed sex teens apart.

It sounds like an ideal first relationship to me. Best friends first, they know each other well, there are no risks of pregnancy etc.
I would keep your daughter's confidence, allow sleepovers (with some discussion about boundaries) and carry on chatting with the other mother without disclosing. Don't make a big deal of it.
I say this as someone who spent years hiding my relationship with my best friend as a teenager, from both our parents. The consequences would have been horrendous.

I'm going to go against the grain and say I would not allow the sleep overs ( everything else is fine, imo). Pregnancy is not the only reason we keep hetero boyfriends and girlfriends apart. It is also important that you protect them from sexual relationships developing too quickly before they are emotionally mature enough to handle this.

You really dont want a call from the GF's mum saying her daughter has been sexually active with your dd with any whiff of anyone being abused. They have plenty of time to see each other in daylight hours and continue to develop their relationship in safe spaces.