Telling grandparents about trans child

[Scootergrrrl]

My trans child would like to tell the wider family about her new identity. Any tips on approaching the topic with grandparents? It's complicated by the fact we won't be able to see them in person until Christmas Day.

[Nowayhozay]

It would really depend on the age of your daughter and how likely that you feel the grand parents will react in a positive way.

Is your daughter on any kind of messaging app where she communicates with her grand parents ?
Maybe you could help her compose a message or a letter explaining everything.

This all happened very gradually over a lot of years for us and so there was never really a problem telling family as they all pretty much realised a long time ago.

I wish you luck with this, I hope it goes well.

[WildMaryBerriesWithBrandyCream]

I saw your post and didn't want to leave you hanging... but found it difficult to answer.

I would think that how you go about it would depend on age of child - and on the relationships involved - and on whether the wider family accept the gender ideology involved.

Is it going to be a big deal ?

Loving and accepting new things about your grandchild/sibling's child etc. is one thing. (Some might not even be surprising to the family.) I hope those important to your child would not be phased too much.

Suddenly being obliged to adopt a new set of beliefs might be another matter. Are you asking them to become instantly converted to something as 'other' as being a Moony or a Puritan? Is that reasonable? (Is reason even involved?)

Is rejecting belief in inbuilt gender the same as rejecting your child (in your child's view)?

Happy Christmas anyway.

[Italiangreyhound]

@Scootergrrrl my best advice would be to tell them before you meet them on the day. Whether by email or phone or let your child tell them in her own words.

It's good if you can explain what you expect, name/pronouns and maybe say something like you know it may be a surprise etc.

My child's grandparents took things really well and have always been supportive.