Trusting and introducing a new partner

[Nowayhozay]

How on earth do you broach the subject that you have a son who is a crossdreeser

It's been a long time coming but finally we both feel comfortable with him being able to express himself and be himself at home.

I cant see anyway of introducing someone else into our lives and still maintain the environment he needs to feel comfortable in his own home.
We both would need a huge amount of trust to let anyone in right now.

I just feel frustrated especally now as we lockdown.
I would love someone special in my life again but I cant see how it could work.
Am I destined to be alone until DS flys the nest ?

Has anyone been in a similar situation, did you find a way to make it work ?

Nowayhozay Can I ask how old your son is? Roughly?

I think in your shoes if I were single and wanted to date I would not be involving my child/children at all in terms of talking about children too early on. But if it is something you feel you need to tell a partner then of course you could just say it and see how they react. If they are negative etc about this then it would mean you would know early on that the relationship wouldn't work.

So with not telling you have more uncertainty but also, in a way, if you are at the early, casual stage, maybe you don't need to tell them everything.

Good luck.

My son is only 14 and so it's not something that I can really bring up later in a relationship maybe in the way I could if he was older and had moved out.

Any new partner would have to be comfortable with the situation, the problem I have is one of trust. I think I would find it really hard to let someone in who I dont know and trust really well but how do you grow that trust whilst keeping them at arms length.

It feels like a catch 22

@Nowayhozay it must be tough. Maybe you could just see how it goes dating and revealing only what you feel comfortable with.

When you say your son cross dresses do you mean he sometimes dresses as a girl or do you mean he always presents as a girl, at school etc?

Thank you, yes I guess all I can do is play it by ear when the situation arises.

I just have to know any new partner will be ok with it all before they get introduced.
I guess any rational person would understand that it's not something I could just trust anyone with and would understand the need to have built some trust.

Its feels like it will be difficult and akward but maybe if it's the right guy it wont be.

All academic at the moment though until I actually find a man 🙂

He only cross dresses at home but he has been pushing the boundaries a bit lately.
If he can he will spend most evenings and weekends dressed and I wouldn't want to take that freedom from him, it's his home he should be comfortable and feel safe in it.

Yes, he does need to feel safe at home.

But to be honest if I were now single with children under 18 I would be quite cautious about inviting anyone home. So I'd be going on dates (if I wanted to), which would be very casual and just for fun.