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LGBT children

This board is primarily for parents of LGBTQ+ children to share personal experiences and advice. Others are welcome to post but please be respectful that this is a supportive space.

Ds can’t open up

3 replies

Rosebud2005 · 18/09/2020 09:16

We lost one of ds grans just weeks ago. He came out to us nearly a year ago but didn’t want anyone else to know. Fair enough, it’s up to him whenever that will be. I’m just sad for him he didn’t get the chance to tell her and know how she felt. I know she would be proud of him still no matter what. Also my own mother doesn’t know. She’s in her 80s and she’s not in great health either. He did spend a lot of time with her since coming here age 7. My sister However who takes care of her doesn’t want us to tell her, said it would be too much for her. I know about her health and his other grans health but I don’t want him ever thinking we didn’t tell them for any reason. My Mum isn’t quite as I open minded to some things as his other gran was but she knows there are gay people and doesn’t criticize or say anything bad about it. I’d want her opinion for myself before him saying anything, but should I tell her on my own? I don’t know what to do for the best. He loves his granny so much, she’s done so much for him over the years - along with his auntie who he thinks is the best but if he thinks she’s even saying we shouldn’t say anything that could ruin his thoughts of her.

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Rosebud2005 · 20/09/2020 16:27

I don’t mean I want to take anything out of his hands.. absolutely not I wouldn’t do that to him. I just wish somehow I could find the right support to help him feel accepted. He fully accepts himself and who he is and we have spoken about this many times. I should be who he is and doesn’t need anyone’s consent.. but he does want the acceptance of those he loves and I don’t want anything being said wrong or being interpreted wrong to make him doubt anything

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Kanaloa · 20/09/2020 17:01

He might just not want people to know just yet. It’s not necessarily that he’s ashamed of being gay, but sometimes you want to get to grips with things yourself before you share them with everyone else. If you’ve spoken about it a lot just make sure to let him know there’s no reason to keep it a secret if he doesn’t want to. On the other hand, let him know he also doesn’t need to tell anyone if he doesn’t want to. It’s his private business, he will share if and when he wants to.

Rosebud2005 · 20/09/2020 17:21

Yes I’ve always said that to him. I definitely don’t believe he’s ashamed of anything. He’s happy and going about his own business as I said he should. I just hope he finds to courage to open up one day x

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