DS Thinks He's Bi. Advice Please

[GiveMeStrengthOrAHobby]

My DS randomly said "mum I think i'm Bisexual" last night. He's 13.

I didn't hesitate, just said "ok". He then said "been wanting to say that for like a week". I then asked him if he wanted to talk about it "no", does his dad know?, "no". Does he want his dad to know? "When i am sure"

What i want to do is make sure he feels confident and supported and comes to his own conclusions about his sexuality. I dont want him to feel pushed or coerced in any way, which is why i didnt make a huge deal of his statement last night and will respect his decision not to tell his dad.

DS is an only child so any advise on how best to support him would be most welcome. I only intend to talk to him when he wants to talk, i am not worried about what his ultimate conclusion is but I do want to be helpful and supportive if he does feel like he wants to talk to me about it. I know the teen years are a confusing time for many children and he is well into the throes of puberty so hormones everywhere. I just want to be an appropriately supportive parent. He lives with me mostly and sees his dad some weekends if that helps.

Just a parent without a handbook wanting to get it right.

Thanks in advance.

I think you've handled it well so far, op. Just let him know he can talk to you about it whenever he feels like it and then leave it alone.

I'm not sure there is anything to say at this stage. DD (recently turned 12) thinks she is gay or bi. She knows DH and I are supportive, so there wasn't really anything to say when she mentioned it, pretty casually - it seemed like too big a deal to even say 'You know we're fine with this' because that would almost imply there was a sane reason not to be!

Do you think his dad would be OK about him being gay (not clear from your post if you're together or not)?

TBH, DH and I between us both reckon she might just be thinking this because she has a crush (that she acknowledges) on one of her best mates and rather than, as would be the norm in our day, thinking 'Oh my God, I hope I'm not gay', she's just 'Oh, I'm probably gay', which is, let's face it, a much better attitude. But again, no reason for us to say that to her.

I said "as long as you are happy" when dd asked me if I minded. She actually has had relationships with men but she says she falls for a person, their gender doesn't matter.

His dad and I arent together but we do coparent exceptionally well. I don’t think his dad will have a issue at all but will do the big show parent “lets talk about it” “family conference” which i think is ott most of the time but moreso somehow here. Thank you for the responses. I missed the one that was deleted, wonder what it said... i am a little reaasure that my relaxed approach and making sure he knows I am here and open to chat about it. In a way i guess he feels he can talk to me as he came out with it in such a casual manner.

I don't think you need to say much at this stage. As long as he knows you support him and you're not unhappy about his sexuality, that should be enough. He might not come to a definite conclusion about his sexuality for quite some time. It took me until I was 20 to accept I am bi.

Ha, good on him. I’m 20 and my parents are yet to know!

I don't think you need to say any more. One of our dc blurted this out to us one evening and we just said ok thanks you know we are happy as long as you are happy. I was actually surprised it needed saying as we have friends who are gay/bi/lesbian /and had never been. A big deal.
You know, and so now you know him better - definitely no need for a family conference!!!

Just support him in his choices, and let him know he can talk to you about anything. That's all he needs for now.

Ds1 told me he was bi at 13

He always preferred boys though and i think he would refer to himself as gay now

But as other posters said keep doing what you are doing