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LGBT children

This board is primarily for parents of LGBTQ+ children to share personal experiences and advice. Others are welcome to post but please be respectful that this is a supportive space.

Homophobic bully at school

6 replies

Georgiemcgeorgeface · 21/03/2019 18:06

DC is 'out and proud' year 7 and is experimenting with who he is and how he looks. Having some trouble with a yr10 boy calling him homophobic names and generally being a nasty little shit. However recently became physical and the bully threw a heavy object at DC.
School rang me to update me and said they have advised the boy his behaviour is unacceptable etc, but said that they've also advised my DC he doesn't need to go round 'shouting' about his sexuality and this will 'invite' people with other views to comment on it! Quote 'I don't go around telling everyone I'm heterosexual'
Comments?

OP posts:
Italiangreyhound · 24/03/2019 15:00

Tgis is appalling. Do they tell the black kids to hide their faces, or the girls to wear long cloaks so no one can spot they are girls! Offensive comments and violent actions can be addressed to any pupil for any reason. I've known people picked on for being too slim!

Bullying behaviour is always the responsibility of the bully.

Anyone over 10 (in England) is above the age of criminal responsibility, so violent actions could be brought to the attention of the police.

Personally, I would speak to the person above the idiot who spoke to you.

I'm very sorry this has happened to your son and he needs to know he has a right to be out without fear of attack.

(Blaming the target is the oldest trick in the book, we avoided one school because the head let slip how felt some children invited bullying!!!!!)

Georgiemcgeorgeface · 24/03/2019 15:58

Thanks for your comment. Yes I did think this was a case of victim blaming and I told my son not to listen to her nonsense and to carry on being who he is.

OP posts:
seahorse85 · 07/04/2019 15:14

Absolute nonsense. This happened to me too with my DC - he's flamboyant - just who he is - and was told exactly that, down to the line of "I don't tell everyone I'm straight". My answer to that was - well, that's because it's much more socially acceptable to be straight. People don't get beaten up or called names for being straight! Doh! Mind you I work at the school too so it makes it slightly easier I guess.

Such a typical example of inherent homophobia. And yes, victim blaming.

Makes me so mad! Are you going to take it further OP?

Skyzalimit · 07/04/2019 21:07

that's really homophobic. They need to be reminded of their duties under the Equality Act 2010. Send them this:

assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/315587/Equality_Act_Advice_Final.pdf

And don't wait. In my experience, it does not improve unless you push hard.

Georgiemcgeorgeface · 08/04/2019 17:06

Actually since the post there's been no further incidents thankfully. My DS has not 'toned it down' and all is well at the moment so I'm going to leave it alone. Still unimpressed with the comments from he pastoral woman but I'll set her straight if the issue ever arises again!

OP posts:
lunar1 · 08/04/2019 17:13

I'm glad the problem has stopped. However I would want someone above the pastoral woman to look into what training she has had. It clearly isn't adequate.

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