Hi everyone! I have two amazing children, 11yo DS and 14yo DD. My DD told us last year that she was asexual last year. And it was not surprising at all. She has friends of both sexes and has never shown interest in anyone, even to say he/she was cute. She is not embarrassed, ashamed, or remotely concerned about what anyone else thinks. She has her goals, knows what she wants and gets them done. She is also very opinionated and will come to me with any questions or concerns (even when I sometimes wish I could have stayed blissfully ignorant).
Then there is my DS, who is the sweetest kid ever. He does not have a mean bone in his body and is such an empath, it is heartbreaking sometimes. He lacks confidence in everything. Even the things he is better than everyone else at. He is literally the opposite of my oldest in every way. Last week, we were watching a show that had two boys kiss in it. He asked me if that was ok, and of course, I said: "Of course it is." (I have always told them both, I don's care who they bring home as long as they were good for each other) Well, then I asked him why, and he instantly clammed up. So I prodded a little bit and asked him why he would ask. He said that he likes boys and girls. Again, not a shocker, we honestly thought he was gonna be gay since he was about 2. I also think he only added girls to it, because in his head it doesn't sound as "bad."
So here is what I need help with. I am not worried about my daughter. She is adaptable, opinionated, and fearless. But I don't know how to build up confidence in my son to help him cope with a life that has the potential to be so much harder to be happy.
Because of all our assumption since he was young, I thought I would always know what the right thing to say would be. When to say it. How to joke around about it like you would with anyone else.
Any advice, or anyone that is like him that can tell me what he needs to hear, I am all ears.
Please