Please don’t hate me for asking this

[Ohwhatfun]

Before I ask this please be assured I don’t mind if my son is gay, straight or anything in between. I just want him to be happy and accepted. I don’t know is this is really the right place to ask as it could be more related to special needs.

My son is 10 autistic and the kindest loveliest boy you could meet. He is quite “camp” and will often start belting out songs from musicals, ballet dancing and acting in a way people would typically describe as “gay”. I love him for this and love his amazing personality.

However as he’s getting older the difference between him and his classmates is being more apparent. He will be starting secondary school in September 19 and I am really worried about him being bullied.

Should I talk to him and help him understand life is easier if he confirms??

My heart says no as he is truly amazing but my head says I need to help him have an easy life.

Please don’t hate me for asking this, I just want hope I do the right thing for him

What about a Performing Arts school?

I’m no expert but I think hiding who he is will be as damaging as bullying could be. Teach him to love who he is, to be kind and to be empathetic of others. Teach him it’s ok to stick up for himself and you’ve always got his back. Let him know he can talk to you about anything anytime. He might change completely once puberty hits anyways. Let him be who he is, it’s impossible to hide anyways and will only make him insecure and probably more likely to be targeted by bullies.

That’s exactly what I’m trying to do so thank you for the reassurance. At home I would never try to change him, I just wondered if I should try and get him to be more self aware who lost out and about. Parenting is so hard!

@thinkingcat that’s a great idea, will see what’s in our area

Should I talk to him and help him understand life is easier if he confirms??

Conforming sucks.

Trying to get him to be anything but himself would be a massive mistake.

He is quite “camp” and will often start belting out songs from musicals, ballet dancing and acting in a way people would typically describe as “gay”.

Is the above just because who he is or because of his autism? I have a super camp friend and at school he liked musicals, performing arts etc and we all thought he would come out at school. Not the case. I also had a normal friend who liked football, sport etc and it turned out he was gay.

Im with the others here. Let him be what he is and let him enjoy life without you trying to make him conform. Home is a safe space free of judgement for him at the end of the day. If you have concerns, just speak to the school and get them to keep an eye on him and let you know if he is being bullied.

tittygolightly OP said 'confirms' not 'conform ' so I take her question the opposite way: it's easier to be honest about who you are