15 years old dds first same sex relationship is toxic

[Holidaysyet]

And I don't know how handle it.

Firstly I really don't care that she's Gay and neither do any of the family.
Dd has additional needs which affect her maturity and became friends with this girl last year when the girl started the school. Up until this point dd had boyfriends but all her friends at her new school are gay and dd has come out as bi.

She is now in some kind of relationship with a girl.
The girl has various mental health, some quite severe and self harm issues and we had some issues with dd last year where she was encouraged by the girl to experiment with self harming. Luckily just a minor scratching but school were involved.

For a while they weren't together but it's clear now they are in a relationship.
As soon as the relationship started dd has gone back to being awful at home, lying about where she is, lying about pointless things and a whole change in her behaviour.
The girl and dd seem to have some competitive thing going on of how much they hate their life, how much they hate their parents, how much they hate school.
There's been lots of talk from the girl on how there's no point going to lessons, they are just going to fail etc only my dd has and the other girl who doesn't have sen has pulled it out in th and exams.

Dd is besotted with her but the relationship is awful. Help!

Hi I didn't want to read and run but unfortunately I came here to post something quite similar - 16 year old with a girl just over a year older who seems to have issues. I won't boycott your post but I want you to know you aren't alone and it's an absolute pig of a situation to handle. Maybe it might be best posting in teens which is what I might do! Good luck.

HI. I've posted about by DD having unhealthy relationship at age 13 and the possibility of changing school. Really mixed replies. It sounds pretty similar to your story - and it's so hard to watch carry on. Sounds like these girls are emotionally co-dependent, but in both cases the weaker child is indoctrinated and drawn into copy-cating bad language/poor content, poor eating, self-harming, not caring about anyone or anything, stopping caring about school work. I'd love to say 'that's enough, it's too obsessive and unhealthy', but you just know there is a strong chance one of them will hurt themselves or turn into a nasty stalker or something. So I guess I feel we have to support them, let time pass, find those quiet moments - in the dim light - just before they sleep - to let them talk to us and try to focus on positive things and goals in life. And that they need to focus on the excitement of what might be around the corner.
The school spoke some sense into my daughter and her friendship group, clarifying boundaries, and that helped me a little.
I guess their happiness if more important than academic results, so maybe our daughter's will get kicked out of their schools ultimately - when their grades bomb out, then they will loose friends and perhaps realise they messed up and learn from it. Such a horrible way to start their love life and a horrific parenting situation. Stay strong. I find it's hard to stop my brain going over issues at night - I think I may ask for melatonin...perhaps you should too x