Trans FTM dd came out 2 months ago

[MysticFlyTrap]

Hi I don't have a lot of experience to guide me and my dd to this journey. My 15yo dd came out to me as wanting to be a boy over 2 months ago now. It wasn't a shock as she has always been into boys clothing, toys, hangs out with boys. At 5 wanted to be called by a male name but then it could have been a phase so I discouraged it to to age reasons.

I have fully accepted this is the path he wants to take. He has told the school he wants to be known by a male name and came out as trans to all his friends and our family. Wears a binder and a packer already.

Basically I'm unsure when is best to see a doctor as menstrual bleeding is causing distress to him as the period pain it's self is not even solved by feminax so wanted to get opinions on putting him on the contraceptive pill to make periods lighter and give a bit more control back to his life.

Obviously doctors won't take him seriously for At least 2 years but still can anything be done to make the transition go smoothly or any tips on how to best help him during this difficult period.

My family and friends have all been very accepting and we all call him by the new name which I hope to make official for him around his 16th birthday. Pro nouns of course I still get muddled up but I guess we it's difficult when it's second nature to say she. I do correct myself when need be

I am glad that you are able to accept this, it must be easier knowing that he has felt like this most of his life. He can take the pill continuously to stop periods, but will have to have a break occasionally I think, a few times a year. You would need to discuss the best type with the GP but it is certainly an option. You will have to watch out for signs of depression though. Good luck

Thanks allatsea that's what I was hoping regarding the pill. Yes I really worry about the depression part so definitely going to get it logged at the gp surgery that he is now trans so he can be revered for councilling if need be and to talk about the pill

Binders cause physical damage

I got the binder from an American company, which is one of the few approved binders out there. I would never buy a cheap one which could be damaging. We researched it a lot. She is only allowed to wear it for set hours of the day as well.

Approved by whom?
I think it's totally shocking that this is happening

Oh and there is no such thing as boy's toys, hair and clothes.

mrskeats it was from this shop, it is safe and approved www.gc2b.com

Sorry I didn't explain the (boys clothes, toys) in a different manner but really it's irrelevant how it's described because everyone knows exactly what is meant by it.

I am trying to support my child how u see fit rather than forcing him into staying as someone he doesn't want to be

Great to hear you’re so accepting and encouraging. Firstly just disregard half of the nonsense you will get on here, I found out the hard way that folk love to play with semantics/make rash judgements, rather than actually think about your issue and reply with something helpful.

I would give your GP a try anyway- their approach might be ‘light touch’ to start with due to age, but there’s no reason why they shouldn’t be aware of it, put you in touch with the right support/knowledge groups.

Re the contraceptive pill - there are different types and for me personally none of them worked in stopping the bad periods or the pain. One relieved it slightly, but gave me migraines as a side effect!

I was on the depo injection for years, it stopped periods completely and left me basically “symptom -free”. I found it to be the best solution.

There are some people who say the depo doesn’t work for them, but each injection only lasts 12 weeks so it might be worth trying if your success on the pill is limited?

My GP encouraged me to have the 3 year implant at one point, I guess because it’s cheaper than seeing someone for an injection every 12 weeks? It was a disaster- made the periods even worse, and then I was put on a waiting list for 6 months to have it removed! I would steer well clear of that, until you have found out what works for him at least.

It's good you and your child are having open conversations about this and you are supportive.
Do read around this issue widely though, there are lots of supportive sites but opinions on certain treatments do vary.

Licensed, approved binders do NOT cause damage.

Wrapping with bandages does.

Thankyou for accepting him. He is very lucky to have you x

As a teacher I’ve worked with a couple of trans kids and think support from parents makes a big difference to their wellbeing, so just to say it’s great you’re taking a proactive, loving, listening approach.

From personal experience periods wise, I’ve been on the combined pill and done 3-pack runs on the advice of GP (so 3 packs taken back to back then a week break for a bleed), but found I felt quite down. I’ve also been on the progesterone only pill twice before having my son and am on it now whilst breastfeeding. All 3 times, it has totally stopped my periods after a few months of spotting at the start, and I find it affects me much less emotionally too.

I know it’s different for everyone but just to say if one hormonal contraceptive doesn’t help it’s worth trying others.

Thankyou everyone it's nice to have some understanding comments I can't believe how accepting the family and friends have been. It's so lovely that times are moving forward although a long way to go with trans acceptance it's nice to hear that not everyone is transphobic.

Booking her into gps next week to talk about the pill and councilling

I can't remember what thread it was on, but there was one a while ago with a post from a transperson (can't remember if M or F) and they commented that they had been reluctant to go to counselling but their parents had insisted but with hindsight it was the best thing for them all.

Well done for being so accepting! I work with the LGBTI community and a positive, supportive parent is sadly a rare thing but helps soo much. Well done for the binder as I've been told by several trans males they used duct tape as an alternative out of desperation. It's truly heart breaking and fantastic your son won't be forced to use it. Speak to him about going on the pill or getting other means if contraception to combat menstruation and make it more manageable. I imagine it is really distressing for him and you. Counselling is a necessary component of the transitioning process so I'd advise you seeking it now for him and possibly the family as a whole. Well done for embracing your new son. It will be challenging at times but with supportive parents he can have a happy life as his true self x

You sound like a very loving, supportive mum. It's great that you researched and discussed the safety of binders with your DS, because now he'll trust you and talk about other safety related issues.

Generally speaking, NHS gender specialists don't endorse medical transition for children. However it's critical that your DS doesn't self medicate by obtaining meds off the internet. The drugs taken by transboys are even more dangerous than those taken to transgirls. I advise you to steer well clear of Mermaids partly for this reason.

Parents of transgender children have sought advice and support from the FWR board over the years. One told us she'd left Mermaids after the other parents spent meetings discussing how to bypass the NHS and which online pharmacies and private doctors sold puberty blockers and cross sex hormones. The online communities for transgender kids do this too - something you are well placed to discuss/explore with your DS.

Once she'd left, they pursued her, telling her that her DC would commit suicide and it would be all her fault. She also noticed a homophobic slant - better a trans DD than a gay DS, sums it up.

Mermaids was banned by a court last year from seeking contact with a child. This is a very striking piece of information. How many charities have had to be ordered to stop their work because it's harming a child?

I'll post some links for you later. There are plenty of useful ones.