Son thinks he’s in love with a boy

[Laura240990]

So today my 10yo son came home from school saying he had a secret to tell me, asked me not to tell anyone and told me ‘I think I’m in love with this boy’.
Asked him all about his feelings and how long they have been there and how he feels, feeling this way towards a boy. Who I may add is in p4 and my son is in p6. He replied he felt embarrassed and confused which I presume most kids do with these kinda feelings??
He has always been a lads lad and loved everything sports, so I have never thought about his future. I couldn’t care if he’s gay or not. I will support where ever I can with anything! I’m just needing some help and advice. As he’s only 10 and not quite started puberty yet, are these feelings real? He’s learning a lot at school about relationships and puberty, so is he wondering what it’s like to be gay? Does he feel for this boy as he sounds a bit of a loner and picked on, does he feel sorry for him? (My son has also experienced being left out and bullied)
Is there anything except love and support I can give him or do I wait for him to fully understand then answer any questions he has??
Sorry about the long post 😳🙈

I would wait, listen, answer and reassure that his feelings are important, whatever their root (sympathy, empathy, love or whatever) and that he is ok. Don't rush him...

Maybe tell him sexuality develops over time - while some people ‘know’ they are straight or gay or bi from earlier on, lots and lots of people will have same sex attraction from time to time and he can figure it out later as he goes. I actually came out as gay to my Dad in late teens, he said something vague like ‘I think most people are somewhere on a spectrum between straight and gay rather than entirely one of the other’ and I found that very helpful.

@Laura240990 no advice, but your son sounds amazing.

It does sound pretty early for romantic feelings as he's pre-pubescent. No actual advice though.

It could be what he’s learning at school is confusing him, all feelings are real if they feel them it don’t mean they are true feelings though.
Maybe your boy sees that the other boy was him a few years ago.. some bullied kids tend to protect others that were in the same situation and he’s confusing that for love.
at least he’s talking to you about his feelings and how he’s confused ect not many kids would talk to their parents so openly about those subjects, you should be proud of that.

Who knows if he’s gay at the moment he’s still young, but I don’t think it would matter one bit as you seem like a family that are open and honest with each other and would support each other regardless.

Some people are very certain they were gay from a very young age.

Equally, lots of children experience same sex crushes at various points in their adolescence/childhood that are often intense but fleeting.

All I think you can do is to encourage him to keep speaking to you and ensure he feels your love and support.

He may be gay, maybe not. He's got time to figure all this out with the help of a supportive family. As long as he knows he's loved, that's what matters.

I would be worried about appropriate internet access though. Whatever his feelings, they should be his own and I'd just be careful that he isn't in a situation where he's dragged down an internet rabbit hole.

There's lots of info out there online that is helpful and supportive, but equally lots that isn't, so I'd personally just be very careful in this regard.