Non gender binary?

[ShawshanksRedemption]

Any parents out there whose child identifies as non gender binary?
DC has said this is how they want to identify, want to be called a different name (school have agreed to this). Their dad disagrees with it all, and DC does not want to tell any other members of family.
DC has never shown any indications growing up of being unhappy in their gender, in fact quite the opposite! DC is very early teens and possibly aspergers (undiagnosed). Any advice?

Start here:
www.transgendertrend.com/resources-for-parents/

I strongly suggest you get the autism looked into (if female often goes undiagnosed) and take a very keen interest in what they are looking at online (anime, deviantArt, fandoms etc).

Some good threads on here - I think the advice for non-binary holds true for M2F and F2M.

Thanks Stopmakingsense - I've googled and read about this subject before I came here but would really like to hear from parents how they handled it with their own DC. Are you a parent with a child identifying as non gender binary as I'd really like to hear about that experience if you are?

My DD identifies as male, told us when she was 18 so we are in a different position, but she has since been diagnosed with autism.
There is a good forum you can join here:
gendercriticalresources.com/Support/index.php

There are about 500 members, many with younger teenagers, I am sure there are non-binaries in there who will share their experiences with you - majority are US/Canada but plenty from UK also (like me).
Many progress to Male or female from non-binary.

I would steer clear of Mermaids if you are sceptical about gender being innate and immutable.

Yes I have a child who say they are non binary, although childhood has been fairly gender conforming (whatever that means!)

I initially found it very stressful and felt as if I was grieving for the daughter I thought I'd lost. Things have calmed down since then. My child doesn't have any body dysmorphia and isn't changing name so that makes things somewhat 'easier'.

Things I've learned:

Professionals are all too quick to try and push you down a trans route, regularly mentioning mermaids and tavistock far too quickly. Balance out the advice from mermaids with parenting forums on the matter (who almost always say avoid mermaids - I think it depends on your own situation though and I do not feel that charity is right for us at the moment).

I use the 'DC is awaiting diagnosis for ASD - we need to wait and see because if that is diagnosed, child needs to understand what that means before we go down a route that could actually just be a very usual ASD feeling of not feeling 'gendered'' - so far, this has worked with school/CAMHS holding off. To be fair though, my DC is not distressed about it so I don't think there's a need for intervention at this stage.

Some adjustments at home - no gendered birthday cards; hurts but fine. Short hair - no problem with this at all and showed my 80s school photo of all girls having short hair then; hair length has no bearing on whether you are a woman or not. I really don't want to change pronouns yet until ASD position known, it seems so final, DC has agreed that's OK for now. I try and avoid where I can using name.

Assured DC that if they choose to live adult life as non-binary, will accept it, however, as ASD not yet diagnosed (late discovery) not willing to make all changes until that has been explored and understood i.e. is this just ASD feelings or is it more?

Honestly? I hope she accepts herself as an ASD female when the time comes. As it can be common for ASD children may not have an entirely hetero attitude to sexuality it may just be that she's gay or bi (or pan as they call it now). I feel 'lucky' that so far, things have calmed and the changes have not gone too far. Obviously that may all change in the future but I am trying not to think about that.

I was at an event where a leading ASD in females expert said that studies were ongoing about gender identity in females with ASD so she couldn't say too much more on that BUT also said to be cautious with anyone claiming they do know. I have to say that the awaiting ASD diagnosis has helped no end with professionals and my child to keep things low key. Goodness knows what will happen after the ADOS is finally done.

Very best of luck.

Why are baby's only born female or male? It's scientifically only possible to be one or the other yet there are hundreds of genders apparently... this shit scares me as I don't want my future kids being taught at school "facts" that aren't "facts"... where does the lies stop? We can't challenge this as it's "not pc or not in the school curriculum" and can't say shit at work without fear of upsetting someone.

What next? "The earth is flat?"... you'd all be outraged if that was taught at school as a "fact".