My ds has come out

[Strabury10]

Hi my ds 11 came out a few weeks ago everything is good we had a chat and I told him I will be very supportive and nothing changes between us. only close family and his best friends know. He has asked me to tell the rest of the family my mum and sisters his grandparents aunts and uncles etc. Would it be best if he told them with me or for me to tell them sepratly ?

I'd maybe tell them so that you can gauge their reaction. If any of them are arseholes about it you can set them straight before he tells them.

He's asked you to tell them, I think you should tell them so you can protect your son from any negative reactions. Tell them that he's asked you to tell them, so it's not a secret.

I'd be inclined to make it more of a general passing comment rather than a conversation of its own. I think if you sit someone down with the intention of telling them something like this, then they're more likely to feel like they're involved in the situation and the response is often more of a questioning rather than just having to accept the fact. Besides having a specific conversation about it is making a bit of a mountain of a molehill - your son is gay and sounds quite comfortable with himself and his sexuality, doesn't need to be made a mountain out of. It's just the elderly relatives who may not quite understand the situation that's the tricky part.

You may just want to consider if there are any 'gossips' in the family, and if you want to tell them first and have their help in having your news spread. Or tell them last so you can contain things a little.

But well done, coming out is a big thing, especially for someone who is 11. Your son must have a great deal of trust in you and your response was just perfect

Yes, it's great that he came out early to you. It shows good trust. Maybe chat to him and ask what he'd like you to say. I think it's more the endless 'Ooh he'll be breaking the girls' hearts' comments that get wearing after a while, so I'd maybe mention it in that context.

That's great he came out at that age shows he trusts you a lot my nephew who's 14 he came out last year he seems much happier now than he did a few mounths before he came out.