PosieParker, I wish I was as mysterious and exciting as you think! I was at my book group and I was far too drunk it was far to late to post last night.
BIWI, I am the most liberal person I know. I've always worked in the voluntary sector - I've even delivered equality & diversity training - and I've been to three civil partnership ceremonies, yet I felt the same as you when my son came out last year.
I'd suspected all through primary school, then when he started secondary there were always loads of girls hanging around, and I completely forgot that I'd ever suspected, so it was a bolt from the blue when he told me.
He was 14, and he'd told everyone at school and had had no negative reaction. DH and I said all the right things "It makes no difference.." "We still love you..." blah blah blah, but inside I felt so sad. Not for the perceived loss of grandchildren, but just because I thought/think that his life will be harder than it otherwise would have been.
I feel sad when I see his peers holding hands with their girlfriends, knowing that even in this day and age, it's not safe for DS to do the same. I feel sad that I have to warn him about going into certain parts of the city in case nutters attack him. I feel sad that he's going to come across prejudice and discrimination in the future, and I feel sad that he's going to have to spend his life correcting people's assumptions (if he wants to).
However, since he has come out, he's never been happier. He was a wide circle of friends and is does a million activities. He's faced no negativity (at least to his face) from any other children or adults that he associates with. He is the most confident (but not precocious) child I know and he is completely at one with himself.
He has brought a boyfriend home, and I can't deny that it felt strange. But I may feel the same way when his younger brother brings home a girlfriend.
I told both sets of grandparents, and my dad said - predictably - "Maybe he'll change his mind". My mum was not surprised at all. I don't think it has changed how much my dad loves him, but I think my dad would be uncomfortable diiscussing boyfriends with him.
DH's parents are a bit more "Daily Mail", and it took DH ages to tell them. They have been completely accepting too.
The only people who have had an issue are some of his friends' parents who are particularly religious. There have been occasions when their sons have not been allowed to sleep over, where they would have done in the past. I do think less of the parents for being like this, but superficially we get on fine. I know they would never admit to DS that that's the reason, so it's fine.
I found it hard to tell people, too. It's not something that comes up in conversation - your child's sexuality. So by telling people, it seemed like a bigger deal than it should be. Almost like an announcement.
Most cities have a GLBT centre with a phoneline for gay people, their friends and family. I've given DS the number in case he needs any advice. And I also know that he's used a GLBT youth talkboard on the PC.
I just want him to be happy and meet a nice partner and settle down (in a few years, obviously!) I think it would be easier to do that if he wasn't gay, but I'd be happy to be proved wrong.
Hope this saga has helped you a bit. Take care.