Ex wont give me ds passport

[4kidsandcounting]

Hi there,i am hoping that somebody will be able to give me some advice.To cut a long story short my dh and i have decided for the first time ever that we are going to take our dc on a foreign holiday this year.My dh is not my oldest ds real dad but he has been there for my ds since he was 3 and since then we have had 3 off our own kids.When we split my ex who i was never married to wasn't to bothered about seeing ds until i met dh then he changed his tune and took me to court and won a contact order and half parental rights since then my ds has always seen his real dad and he goes to stay there every second weekend without fail.A couple of years ago my ex asked if he could take my ds to France which i said would be fine as long as he gave me his passport back when he got back in case i should want to take ds abroad.He never gave me it but i thought i cant be bothered arguing at the time so didn't ask him but since dh and i have decided to book our holiday i texted him and asked politely could i have ds passport to which he told me that he wasn't giving me it and that i had no right to take ds out of the country without him.Have asked him several time since and have even contacted passport services who said there's nothing i can do.Its such a nightmare and now everyone's missing out on a holiday as i cant not take ds.Has anyone got any advice please.

To be pedantic, your ex has full parental responsibility, not half parental rights.

As your ex has PR you need his consent to take your son out of the country unless you have a Residence Order in your favour. If you take your son out of the country without your ex's consent you would be committing a criminal offence.

As he will not give his consent you have to apply to the courts for a Specific Issue Order. You would almost certainly win. If he breached the SIO by, for example, refusing to hand over your son's passport you could then take him to court for compensation. I doubt he would hang on to your son's passport for long if he realised he would end up paying the cost of your holiday.

Find this just ridiculous to be honest.My ex only sees my ds 2 days out of 14 so what gives him the right to think i have no right to my ds passport who resides with me its just so stupid.I signed nothing for my ex to get a passport for my son but he still managed to get one but you say i have to ask him for consent to take my own child abroad but my ex would not be asking me for permission if he took him abroad again because he already has the passport its just so wrong and i know my ex is enjoying ruining things for us including his own ds.Cant afford to take him to court i already have court fees I'm still paying since the last time so basically we cant do anything about it which is really sad.

The law cuts both ways. The fact that permission is required is because he has PR, not because he has the passport. You also have PR so your ex cannot take your son abroad without your permission even though he has the passport. If he does he is committing a criminal offence.

If you represent yourself the cost of obtaining a Specific Issue Order should be less than £200. There may be no fees or a reduced fee payable if you are on a low income or living on benefits.

How old is your DS? I can't imagine your XP being particarly popular with your DS if he is old enough to understand what's going on.

Thanks for the advice prh47.My ds is 10 and knows his dad is refusing him his passport but he is scared of his dad and never does anything to displease him.My ds asked his dad for his passport but he just said to him he is keeping his passport safe for him and ds didnt want to argue with him so just left it at that.My ds upset we cant go on holiday now but he will not say a bad word about his dad.

Any chance the passport is out of date so you can apply for a new one with a covering letter saying that your ex won't surrender the expired one?

I would recommend that you join families need fathers they will help you through the legal/court process.

The court fees are fairly low if you are representing yourself. If you are on any sort of means tested benefits they may will be waived?

No my ex applied for my ds passport when ds was 8 so it wont be expired yet.I will look into this thanks

Actually being pedantic it is a criminal offence to take a child out of the UK without consent from your ex, but it isn't an offence if consent is unreasonably held.

Unless there is a history of contact being frustrated in my experience the courts view withholding consent for a normal family holiday of a couple of weeks once or twice as being unreasonable. So as long as you ask for consent, offer alternative dates for missed contact etc you have covered your back. In practice I've come across a few cases where the parent with the majority of care has taken the advice of a women's group and applied for a specific issue order only for the judge to be annoyed at the waste of the court's time.

Nonetheless handing over a passport is an issue where you may need to involve the court. The court can order the passport is held by a solicitor and handed over in time for the holiday.

In the first instance I suggest asking a solicitor to write a formal letter asking for consent, offering alternative contact etc and for the passports to be handed over in good time. Often a solicitor's letter does the trick with less hassle and expense than a court application. If it doesn't you can then decide whether you want to self rep or not.

Thanks stidw i am going to contact a solicitor today and take it from there.