Information on a very complicated residency case

[malecarer]

Hi there,

I need some information with regards to a residency case I am currently in with my ex partner.

Im currently fighting to gain residency of my 4 year old son when i started the residency case i was living in blackpool however i then moved to my sons home town to save money and be closer to him.

the mother is in a violent relationship and has been badly beaten twice by her partner however she has only reported one incident.

she has also attacked him with a knife and my son has witnessed this, the only reason i found this out is because my son told me and the maternal grandmother about it.

her partner smashed up her property and she was evicted so she had no choice but to go and live with her parnter in another town approx 20 miles away from myself, my son is in school in his home town has family and friends and i believe it would not be suitable to return him to his mother.

He only started school on the 21st june in order to prepare him for reception in september the mother would not put him in school so i did it when she left him with me to return to him.

Would a judge in the UK remove a child from school, make him leave his home town and family to be put back into a possible violent relationship where he might witness yet more attacks.

Your question is impossible to answer without hearing facts and evidence from both sides.

Without independent evidence from social workers/police/doctors etc that a child is at risk at harm or not surviving satisfactorily courts are generally reluctant to disrupt a child's sense of security and established bonds by changing residence.

When the established status quo is a child lives with each parent for an equal, or almost equal, amount of time then a court may well find that remaining at a school and maintaining contact with the extended family and friends is the least disruptive to the child's sense of security. However, if the reality is contact/shared residence in different proportions the parent with the least amount of time will face an uphill struggle changing the status quo and obtaining a sole residence order in their favour.

Could you offer your son and the mother of your child a place to stay while they sort out things. I was in an abusive relationship once and what kept me there for too long was not having any where else to go. I was afraid people wouldn't put their necks out and help me if I told them. The only help that would have been enough help to get out of the situation would have been the offer of a place to stay. If you won't help the mother of your child and your child who would you help you know? I know it won't be easy, but it's an offer you should make imo.

If she can get free of this men then if you live really close to each other then maybe you can co-parent without fighting each other for full residency.

The way you refer to your son's mother as 'the mother' is a little unfeeling if you don't mind my saying so.

i dont understand - "her partner smashed up her property and she was evicted so she had no choice but to go and live with her parnter in another town approx 20 miles away from myself" she did have a choice - she had a choice not to be with the violent partner.

is child living with you or her right now?

the school isue is not relevant - he has only been in school a few weeks so where he goes in sept is not really relevant. children often move between schools. eg while waiting for rpeferred school place to come up.

more concern is he may be witnessing violence - call nspcc for advice,

if your child is at risk with ehr you ened to call in support of socoial services

Am I right in thinking that your son has been living with you since a recorded incident of serious violence, from a man with an existing criminal record for violence? I seem to remember another thread on this?

i was granted an interim residency order based on the evidence supplied the judge has no reason to deny it.

That's good news. Witnessing DV is truly awful for children.

With interim residence a new status quo is quickly established and, as above, it will be an uphill struggle for your ex to convince a court that another disruption is in the child's best interests.