Difficult divorce with bully ex

[redeemthepathgirl]

My first post here..v interesting to read. Have final hearing Sep and there is no common ground on capital or maintenance..ex wants 50 50 I don't work, he has big city job and not much contact with kids. Legal fees draining me..one child has SEN..difficult for me to work..he wants joint residence..any ideas? Help

If you don't work, can't you get legal aid? Given your ex is a bully, I would let your solicitor deal with it. If not doing it effectively, you need another solicitor.

Subject to what your legal team is telling you (I presume you have counsel on board by this stage?) I think it's extremely unlikely to be 50/50 unless there's so much capital that your needs can be met on that basis.

As a general rule, the courts will start off with the presumption of equality but move away depending on things like the parties' earnings and potential earnings, the capital available, the housing needs of both parties etc. Your solicitor will hopefully have advised you about the Matrimonial Causes Act checklist.

I suspect that the reason your h is going for joint residence is that it then puts him on an equal footing so far as housing needs are concerned.

If he has little contact with the dc now, then I'm struggling to see him getting shared residence in its true (50-50) sense especially if he has a big job with long hours, oveseas travel etc.

Surely the residence issue is going to be dealt with before the ancillary relief final hearing? Otherwise the court will have difficulty in dividing capital according to housing needs, tho' your ex may be arguing that even if you get residence and he has weekend contact, he still needs enough room to accomodate the children.

What's your solicitor advising you?

OP won't get legal aid if there's too much capital in the house, which I presume to be the case if he works in the City on a six fig salary

He sees kids every other weekend x 2 nights but he can get mortgage, I can't..but residence won't be sorted before court date. Yep he is doing it to secure capital split and is on 120k or so..solr is ok thinks I will get 65 % but I think sick of it as ex has been v bullying thru law and in person e.g. had injunctions. it is sad that conduct not taken into consideration. ALSO ex trying to squash statement for SEN kid to drive down my entitlement..any case law ..going to try shuttle mediation..can't get legal aid as have 15k left savings..that will go to lawyers...

What do you mean by "any case law..."? Your solicitor and barrister will be putting relevant case law into the skeleton argument.

How much info are you getting from your legal team? I get the impression that communication between you isn't that great.

Competent communication but not wowed but innovative approach to settling to just and reasonable levey but not an option to change now....just about to do my draft statement 4 court..

Not suggesting you should change at this late stage.

Good luck with everything, I hope you get a good result.