What happens if you're broke and you want to split up?

[posieparker]

I would love to kick my DH out, but we don't have enough money. We are stretched as it is and I can't see that improving if he needs to rent somewhere. I've simply had enough. Verbal and physical abuse. I have a nice car, nice house and he owns 5% of the company he works for, on paper when it floats iyswim.

So do I get the house, we have four dcs, and the car. Will I have to downsize?

There's nowhere near enough information here to say whether or not you get the house.

You will be best off if you can agree the financial split between you. If you argue it out in the courts a significant chunk of your assets will go in legal fees, leaving less to be split between you. In agreeing a split you would start by looking at the total value of all your assets less your liabilities. You would then try to arrive at a fair split. A lot may depend on the valuation of the shares he owns in his empoloyers.

I would get the house if I have dcs though?

My friend who split from her hubby (he left her and 2 DC) stayed in the house but has to buy him out or downsize (it is not a big house). Don't know if this is because she works.

What do you think he would say? He might welcome this ...... Going by previous posts, bit of a playboy isn't he? So a flat elsewhere might suit him

anything you can sell to raise a deposit? Even you and dc in a flat or rented house and sell the house then?

I don't work. I have the beginnings of a business but I am wondering if I should wait until I am a little more financially independent?

His shares are 5% of a lot....but whether the company will ever float is another matter. If they were real money I could quite happily live comfortably with just half.

It really isn't as simple as you getting to keep the house and half of everything he has though!

I need to look at my options. This relationshiop is getting worse, with every month comes another line crossed.

actually,ou mention violence?? then yes,i believe he can be made to leave....what violence,what happened?

in answer to the title, you dont.

in answer to the question, it depends on how much you are willing to give up

It really isn't as simple as you getting the house because you have the children. If you want proper advice you should go and see a solicitor who specialises in family law. Many will give you an initial half hour consultation for free.

i know someone whose H earns a lot of money, think higher tax bracket. domestic violence over a number of years. she had him removed from the house by the police. house and his company in joint names. longterm marriage, ie even when she wasnt on as a joint name, she had an interest in its value, etc etc. she had to take him back or the kids would have been living on the breadline. this was made clear to her by not one, but several lawyers and the benefits people.
she chose not to do that to her kids. but that was her choice. it was a case of being in the frying pan, or in the fire. thats what finances are. you need to think very very carefully about what you want from your life, and what you are prepared to give up to gain whatever you think you will gain.

you can get him removed from the house though,for the violence. ask womens aid.

Agree with prh47 about seeking advice from a family lawyer. It isn't as straightforward as you just getting the house as you will have the children living with you. No matter what has gone on, he is still entitled to a share of the equity in the house and any other assets.

ref violence, it may be possible for you to get an occupation order/non-molestation order. These are basically injunctions which if granted will mean that you can remain in the house and he is excluded and there are restrictions on him contacting you. This is however usually only a short term solution and at some point you will need to resolve the financial situation as he is entitled to a share of the matrimonial assets.

You may well have to downsize if this is possible if you are 'overhoused' which will reduce mortgage/free up some equity for him to enable him to buy his own place.

You really won't get all the answers on here, it is too complicated. you need to seek advice from an experienced family lawyer, ideally a member of Resolution.

Meant to say, as you are broke, you need to ensure the lawyer you see has a public funding/legal aid franchise as presumably you would qualify

Thanks for all replies.