dividing assets after separation - and maintenance???

[LaDietrich]

(posting in relationships and legal) hi, am hoping for bit of advice re legal matters in separation/divorce situation

exDH moved out just after January and has been in his own (rented) flat since March

I am in marital home with our two kids

they stay with him in his flat average 1-2 nights per week

apparantly (according to solicitor I visited) I am entitled to 50% his pension when he retires

we have some savings (ISAs) mostly put away (thinking about it for my pension ultimately as I don't have one with work) but not that much, under 20K

equity in our house is about £250K

solicitor said we don't have enough worth arguing about in court but need to try to sort it out amicably

he said my best bet is to reduce outgoings (mortgage too high for me to manage alone - though could get lodgers in) and also to try to get ex to agree to letting me have all equity in house in exchange for waiving right to his pension down the line

if ex did agree to handover equity at this stage, presumably he wouldn't need to continue to pay towards joint mortgage? (at moment it's all quite informal but he is paying half)

presumably then he would only pay maintenance as calculated by CSA website, or more according to his ability to pay?

at moment he is horrified that he has to pay for his flat, half mortgage AND maintenance - but that is right isn't it? he does need to pay out for all of those right now, until we agree something else...

if he did handover equity he would just need to pay maintenance (and for his flat of course)

is that right or am I being too simplistic?

thanks for any help/advice - I feel totally at sea here...

Have no idea how it works legally, but your situation sounds simlar to mine.

I'm divorcing my H,who is currently renting a flat, I'm increasing mortgage to pay him off and putting mortgage in my name. I will then continue to pay the mortgage and he will pay me child maintenance based on CSA amounts.

Like yourself I'm not going after his pension. I will havemy own pension, equity in our house not as high as yours though.

Solicitor says it's a good way of doing it. Stops all the complicated form filling. Just make sure the mortgage goes into your name only.

Hi SpiritalKnot

so are you paying him off part of the equity or not? if so what % if you don't mind me asking? and will you be able to pay mortgage yourself? ours is high so will be difficult for me on my own unless I do interest only.

are you considering the equity left in teh house as your pension?

thanks for sharing this - it's really helpful to know how other people approach it

Current mortgage to pay is 100,000. Equity in out house is currently about £80,000, increasing mortgage by 20,000 so equity then will be £60,000. The £20,000 will go to him and my mortgage will be for £120,000.

I can just about afford this,though holidays will be out the window! Yes, am considering that equity as replacement for the pension. Pension would be worth a lot more than that, but house will increase in value, so not concerned.

The other option is for me to sell the house now or wait till daughter is 18 (currently aged 10 years) and then sell. Profit would then be split 50:50 (though that split can be negotiated). Don't want to do this as I pay the mortgage anyway, would rather pay him off.

My mortgage will increase from £725 a month to £860. Will be quite hard to pay but I'm also considering taking in a lodger. I also feel I will need to increase my insurance cover as I'll be on my own and that's pretty expensive too.

Are your mortgage payments higher than this? Will you be able to convert to an interest only mortgage then?

thanks for the detail - that really helps

our mortgage to pay is 247,000 (OUCH!)

on interest only this is about £700 per month. I think interest rates will go up. I could just about afford interest only (that's what we've been paying recently in fact) and could consider taking in lodger as I mentioned already once things are settled. I currently have a lodger who is connected to my ex and I have asked him to leave. one reason is he reminds me of ex too much and the other is ex reckons he doesn't have to pay so much cos his standin is contribting! while we are sorting out finances I want him out so we can do it all at a kind of a baseline. Otherwise ex will think he doesn't need to be released from mortgage as he'll reckon it'll all be paid fine and I'll be looking at a future of always having to have a lodger, which is not what I wnat. I want it to be MY choice and helping ME out financially which I think is fair enough as I am teh one who has to live with them. Make sense?!

My house is a bit too big for me, ut I'd prefer to stay and make the most of the equity if I can. If I pay interest only I
it'll be less than I'd pay in rent for a place around here. EVen with capital it'd probably be just over.

Am not sure what I'll do over next couple of years, am not from this country so might move home, which is why probably best to sit tight in house for now and not go buying smaller property which might end up selling again shortly (incurring expenses every time)

I can't see my ex, if he goes to solicitor, being advised to accept giving up the equity for my waiving rights to his pension. It'll be hard for me to increase mortgage to release any equity (not even sure bank will allow it all to go in my name actually, just thought of that) ...

oh I don't know. Is all so complicated.

Sounds like you know what you are doing though spiritualknot so good for you, I hope it works out. Is he being quite reasonable about it all?

ps do you know if you held onto house until your dd is 18 (is there a law hat you can insist on this?) would he have to continue paying towards mortgage if he were to stand to gain 50% of equity at end?

That's a lot of mortgage!

Don't know if there's a law about him having to pay half the mortgage to get half the equity at the end. S'pose that would have to diacussed with the solicitor.

Ex is being ok, I've explained that this is what I can afford and this is what I would have wanted if I'd left the marital home to be with another partner. Said that if he wants to wait 8 years until dd is 18, then he can watch the house fall into disrepair in the meantime!

I think (though he denies), that he will be getting a place with the OW, so will have 2 salaries going into his new place, making it all affordable for him.

Apparently I could've also have had a lump sum from his pension as part of the divorce settlement, but don't know if they meant I could have that straight after the divorce or if they meant once his pension was due. You could ask about that. Maybe right to pensions vary depending on the job.Don'tknow.

Problem is that solicitors are so expensive. My solicitor is a friend and is trying to keep costs down, so advised me to sort everything out with H as much as possible rather than involving solicitors.

Don't know what others would think, but it looks to me like you have a lot of equity in the house, if you can get him to agree to what you originally said, it looks very good.

Do you think he'd agree?

Not got time to do a long post but wanted to say that it is not always appropriate to have a pension sharing order (% of H's pension)
It depends on the length of the marriage, age of the parties and lots of other factors. A 'typical' pension sharing case would be a long marriage (ie 20 years) where the wife had given up her career/career prospects to be a SAHM and had no pension of her own. In some cases the H's pension can be a significant asset, sometimes as much as the value of the FMH. If here is a pension sharing order (by agreement or Court order then it is not automatically a 50/50 split) Supposing a 20 year marriage and the H paid into pension fund for 10 years prior to marriage and will pay in for 10 years after divorce, then the W could get half of 20 years out of 40, so 25%. She would get her share when H's pension comes into payment.

Hope that makes sense but feeding a wriggly baby on lap whilst typing. Will try to pop bak later

Feeling glad that I didn't go down that route then. Married 19 years, H has been in post with pension for 8 years and has 16 years to go to retirement. But probably wouldn't have got a share as I have my own pension anyway?

The length of the financial form that would've needed to be completed (27 sides for each of us), was very off putting as well.

Saying I wasn't after his pension though, has helped me a lot in sorting out finances, as he and his cronies were very anxious about this... Think most of his colleagues have SAHM wives.

we've only been married 8 years, though together 17. I have no pension. He's got 20 years til 65 (retirement age?) so I doubt I'd be entitled to that much really based on what mumoverseas says

TBH I'd prefer to cut financial ties now anyway

yes, it's a fair amount of equity but we live in London and it won't buy very much here. If I could i'd prefer to stay in house and take in lodgers to help with mortgage, but I don't particularly want him to benefit from my having lodgers iykwim - since I'll be putting up with them in my home I'd also like to be reaping the financial benefit myself

maybe I could pay him off from our savings and relinquish rights to his pension

would the bank allow me to stay here as sole mortgage holder though, when on my own salary I think I'd only be entitled to mortgage of about £120K???

If I paid him off would his maintenance then and thereafter be considered as a payment towards "roof over kids head" (ie he wouldn't have to pay any extra)?

final question - do most of you stick around the sum advised by the CSA calculator?

thanks

Hi again,

Don't know about the mortgage being in your name if you can't get more than £120K as the first thing they did was to work out what I could afford so that seemed to be the main issue.

No idea about the other Qs, seemed to me that the CSA amount was compulsory and any extra was negotiable between the two getting divorced. My H is just giving me the CSA amount for my daughter and nothing towards my son who is 18 and going to college in October but is with me until then.

I would ring up any mortgage company and ask about the first bit.

Sorry can't be more helpful!