Legal Advice in respect of my parents

[Amy1969]

Hi all, if anyone can give me some advice I would very much appreciate some. My parents are currently looking after my children whilst I had to re-locate for work purposes. My son who is 9 wants to come home to me, but my parents who have always favoured my daughter aged 12 have encouraged and manipulated her to remain with them. When I asked why she didn't want to come back home, her reply was well my nanan does everything for me. My father has always been a controlling and abusive man has now threatened to get a residency order to stop me from exercising my parental rights. My daughter is not attending school and hasn't done so for the past eight weeks because she has been bullied so my parents saw fit to permanently remove her without resolving the issues. I am distraught. Everytime I call to speak to my daughter she is abusive and disrespectful towards me, very similar in fact to how my father is with me and my partner. I am at my wits end and have been fighting my parents for the past six weeks to get this resolved without any success.

A residency order just means that she lives with them, it doesn't mean that your rights as a parent otherwise have been removed. You have parental responsibility for her, in order for this to be removed then you have to sign a legal document consenting to this.

To be honest, I really don't know. I hope someone else will be along to help. My suspicion is that as there's no formal residency order then there's nothing to stop you turning up and taking your daughter home with you. Should they call the police then the police will not act as there's no residency order and you have not given up any of your legal rights. You really should see a solicitor.

Firstly, I would definitely go round and take your children out of your parents home to talk to them. You do not want them there.

Your daughter may be feeling upset and abandoned whilst she had to cope with bullying. You need to reassure her that you love her and want her back and talk to her both about missing her and about the bullying. At the end of that conversation you want to take them back with you.

You do not need to stand for abuse but do not lose your temper - point out if she what she says is hurtful, but acknowledge her anger and her right to be angry. You may have not had many options, but that does not mean she will see it that way.

Then you need to speak to school about why they allowed your daughter to be removed by someone who did not have parental responsibility. You also need to sort out the bullying.

Finally, the fact that your parents have taken out your daughter out of school will weigh against your parents in any Court hearing.

If your parents do not allow you to take your children out, or take them home with you, then go to a solicitor.

Many thanks for those who have replied. Your help is invaluable. Things have deteriorated even further. My son is now saying he does not want to come home either because of the arguments between me and his grandparents. The only means of contact I have at the moment is either via telephone or on msn, both of which my parents control. My father shouts abuse and has even admitted showing e-mails that have been sent between us to my children. I cannot believe this is happening to me. My orignal arrangement was to collect my son from my parents this Friday, however I do not want a confrontation, which my father will love, in front of my children. I am seriously considering taking a two hour drive and collecting my son directly from school. My daughter refuses point blank to have anything to do with me at the moment and my father continues to encourage her not to speak to me.

You really need to seek professional legal advice about where you should go from here. You are these childrens legal guardians, not your parents. There is no court order to say that your parents have parental responsibility or have legal custody of the children, if they were mine I'd go and get them today.