changing dd's surname, or rather just 'calling her by a new one, ie mine not her dad

[piratecat]

we were married when we had dd and his name is onthe birth cert. we have joint parental responsibility (chokes on cup of tea)!

I know that i need his permission to change it by deedpole, but what about her just using my maiden name?

How will that work, if it is even allowed? She is a minor.

I read that as long it's not used for fraudulent purposes. Who do i need to inform, and how would it be vliad, at say the doctors or school.

obv can't change passport so woulld have to use birth name when travelling.

Your ex has PR. That means his approval is needed for a change of name regardless of how you do it. Sorry.

If you want to change your DD's name without a deed poll you simply start using her new name. However, for some purposes you will need evidence of the change of name. A deed poll is one type of evidence that can be used.

If you change your daughter's name without your ex's permission he can apply for a Prohibited Steps Order which will force you to use her current name.

If there is a Residence Order for your DD you can only change her name if you have written permission from your ex or the permission of the court. You'd have to have some pretty good reasons to persuade the court to allow you to change your daughters name. Simply not wanting to use your ex's surname any more is unlikely to cut it.

I'm going to start doing this. just telling the schools and people that the children's name is x and y myname his name.

obviously on their birth certs it's just firstname hisname so I know that if they're buying plane tickets they have to match the passport and so on,,, BUT they can be known as myname hisnmae. and that's what really makes a name isn't it?

I can only see that there will be a problem when the child is a little older and wants, eg, a bank account which will prob be around 10ish? Or a passport as magaly says. How will they feel to revert to their old name?

My daughter has her dads name, it doest bother me much I have to say. If I get married mine will change anyway.

Magaly - If the father has PR you cannot change your child's name in this way. You may well get away with it but he can take you to court to force you to use the name on the birth certificate.

I have had no probs with the name, but dd doesn't like being associated with him anymore. he's caused her alot of grief.

I had a look at the deed poll site, and there is a section whereby you can apply for a court order that, if, they give you it will actually override his protests, if he were to protest. it's an order that you can apply for if you 'do know where the father lives, but the the sitiation makes it hard for you to contact him, or dealing with him, ie contact and things have been hard'

interesting that there is an option. I shall have a look and link to it.

I think tho, i can called my dd whatever name i wish to, but need to use her actual name for pasport if i don't go down the legal route. When dd is 16, she can change it herself anyhow.

about changing name by obtianing a court order

examples of letter of consent

helpful if anyone else wants to know.

I can do it prh47bridge. My dc1 wsa born prior to dec 2003 and fathers named on the birth cert prior to this don't automatically have PR. DC2 born after that date but we live in Ireland where unmarried fathers have fewer rights even if they ARE named on the birth cert, so yes, I can insert and extra name (not some random name, their mother's name).

Most of the time we all just know that Jimmy Jones is called Jimmy JOnes. It might turn out that his bc, passport and bank account details all say Robert James Jones-Wright. A legal name is one thing, and it's important legally, but a given name and the name you're known as is very important too in a totally different way.

Magaly - I did say "If the father has PR". If he doesn't you are fine but that doesn't help the OP. In her case the father does have PR.

Piratecat - I sympathise but if you start using a different name for your DD her father can get a Prohibited Steps Order to stop you doing so. You either need his consent or a court order allowing you to change her name.

ok, so i need to do this court order then for def?, so that he can't do the prohibitive steps thing.

You can take the risk that he won't bother but your safest route is to get the court order. Once you've got that there is nothing he can do. Of course, the cheapest and quickest route is to get his consent but I realise that may not be possible.

no, not possible. I don't even know if i will do this, i jsut needed to be informed iyswim!

Depends on dd and if she brings it up again, and howmuch she wants to change it. I certianly won't suggest it to her.

thanks for the advice.

As I understand it, you can call your child whatever you or she will respond to As long as on important documents, her legal name is down, you are fine

I'm afraid you understand it wrong. If it constitutes a name change such as, for example, using a different surname you need the consent of all those with parental responsibility.

no that is correct flookcrow, you can call your child whatever the hell you want to!! obviously

So long as their legal documents show the legal name' who could stop you!???!

Lots of people call their child a pet name all the time. It's NO different.

no i think use of surname, in my instance, if my ex found out he could get, the courts to order it be used.

it's too woolly to bring to a case to court and it's impossible to implement.

Calling your own child by a nickname is very different to asking schools etc to call your child by a different name. No one cares about the former. With the latter, everyone who has PR for that child should be in agreement.

If you try it, and the other parent takes you to court for a Prohibited Steps Order to stop you, the chances are the court will grant the order unless you have a damn good reason. The child's own wishes may count as that damn good reason but it would depend on the age of the child.

a lot of fathers with pr aren't even sufficiently close to the child's orbit to know what name other people use. also, a lot of absentee fathers would be scared to go to court because it would bring up the whole maintenance issue.

It amazes me how many people think that they can get around the law by ruses like this. Every year a number of people discover that the law isn't an ass and that judges are wise to this kind of stuff.

If your child's name is Robert you can certainly call him Bob without any problems. You can use a nickname or a pet name as well. However, as soon as you start calling him Simon and asking others to do the same you have crossed the line. That is a name change which needs the consent of everyone with PR. Saying, "we still call him Robert on legal documents, Simon is only a nickname" won't get you anywhere. The courts will issue a Prohibited Steps Order.

Yes and it amazes me that the children's father shows no interest in them and pays no maintenance. it's amazing

I'm sure the vast majority of cases where a different name is used do not result in the absent parent going to court to get a 'prohibited steps order'.

I will let you know if the courts come after me though!

• judges are also 'wise' to the fact that not all fathers are equal. With rights come responsibilities and judges are 'wise' to characters who swing their weight around through the courts, demanding one, shirking the other.

I have no time for absent parents that shirk their responsibilities.

Maintenance is not an issue that would be considered in a case about the child's name. The parent with care can bring it up but the judge is likely to ignore it. The judge's decision in a case like this must be based on what is in the child's best interests. That may not be the same as what the mother thinks is in the child's best interests.

You are probably right that there are many cases where a different name is used and the absent parent does not go to court. However, if the absent parent does take it to court they will generally be able to get a Prohibited Steps Order.

But I have no respect for a law which seems to dictate that they MUST keep this man's name and ONLY his name. So I have inserted mine as well.

I think that judges would listen to the scant details of each case before a knee-jerk reaction of issuing a PSO. So I will carrying on taking 'the risk'. The pay off is worth it.

It is in the children's best interests to share a name with the family that supports them emotionally, practically, financially....

The law expects that once a child has been given a name and has been known as that name, then if there are two parents with PR then one parent shouldn't unilaterally decide to change that child's name without a very good reason.

Magaly, if double-barrelling your child's surname is so important to you, why did you not do it when you registered the birth?

my and my dd's situation re contact/relationship with the father is nothing like it was when dd was originally named.
maybe that's magaly's situation now?

my dd has specifically said 'i don't want my name to have anything to do with that man'

he has created this situation.

I htink the courts are also intereste dinwhat that good reason is. So if i go ahead and look into this i will have a stack load.