Joint house

[feelrubbish]

Looking for some advice an my house which I jointly own with my husband. We separated nearly 2 years ago.
I moved out and into private rented accomodation with the children. Ex has stayed in family home. He has paid the mortgage on the propery and I have paid all my own bills on my own rented house. He has not paid any child maintenance as he pays the mortage.
Nothing is separated legally. I started a separation agreement but ex didn't cooperate - didn't refuse apparently was too busy.
I really need to be free of the joint mortgage so I can get out of expensive rented accomodation and try and get a more stable life for my children.

Ex is not against selling house in principle. He just can't be bothered with the hastle. Says he doesn't want to buy me out - although he could afford this.

I plan to file for divorce next month.

What can I do to try and get the house on the market or get him to have some responsibility. If I file for divorce and he doesn't cooperate what can I do.
I wasted some money trying to get separation agreement and don't want to waste any more if he won't cooperate.

I am so financially and emotionally lumbered with this house (alot of our stuff is still there as we have no space)

What can I do?

If I was in your situation I'd be getting an appointment with someone at CAB - you really need to make sure you get the correct advice before parting with any money again.

Sorry I can't offer any more constructive advice, hope someone else can come along soon with better advice.

Good luck with everything - hope it all gets sorted out soon so you can move on with your life

Hello feelrubbish

Frankly, you need to issue proceedings without any further delay. If he did not cooperate with the separation agreement and is not copertaing now, the only thing to get him to do anything is court proceedings. I know they can be expensive but in my experience opponents like your husband are going to cost you if you don't take action. The delay is expensive as you are renting. I would issue the divorce petition immediately and get the ancillary relief application (money) issued at the same time. This provides you with a timetable of action. If he co operates, you can settle out of court. If he doesn't co operate a court date is listed and he will need to incur the expense of attending and explain to the court why he has not cooperated to date. He may even be penalised for not cooperating.

Best regards

What is ancillary relief application?

I didn't file for divorce on the grounds of unreasonable behaviour when we first separated as my solicitor advised a separation agreement - I tried with that for a while then gave up I then decided (probably wrongly) to wait until we had been separated for 2 years (which is now) to file for divorce. Can he be forced to get divorced if he doesn't want to - he doesn't want us to get back together its just that the status quo suits him perfectly.

Don't worry, if he won't cooperate you can still do a divorce on Unreasonable Behaviour and if he chooses to ignore your petition I will tell you a way to proceed without him. Ancillary relief is an application asking the court to decide how the money is to be divided. A timetable is set including disclosing up to date financial details (disclosure) and then set dates for negotiations to narrow issues and attempt settlement. It essentially forces action and is ideal for responsdents who want to sit on things and not move forward (i.e prefer status quo.

If you want action, I advise that you instigate it.

Best regards

Thanks sassa that is very helpful - feel really overwhelmed with legal matters as I don't understand it all! And also of ex's respnse when all this is forced on him and his nice cosy life will be disrupted but have to be brave!

So basially I ask my solicitor to file for divorce and ancillary relief application and take it from there?

Yes and feel free to private message me if you have any more questions or need more guidance.

Thanks sassa - will contact solicitor tomorrow and see how I get on.

am in simmilar situaton but not married - but same view - court is only way to go.

cestlavielife

The law for you is not straight forward. Do get an expert in law for unmarried couples.

Best regards

Hi cestlavielife
I think we have chatted before about this - I have namechanged recently.
Have you got any further in the process - is the house in both your names.
What is your ex's view on the situation - do you think he will be reasonable.

My ex has not replied to any of my e-mails about this again and even to one which said I will be round on sat to collect the reminder of my belongings!
My solicitor is not back until tomorrow so still a bit stuck but I am determined I will get this sorted this time.

solicitor/basrrister invovled in paperwork and we about to file under trusts of lands act... exP now realsing it serious and is trying to delay saying we need to mediate first and i am unreasonable not mediating first..

.- i have agreed to meet and discuss and told him the filing gives us a deadline.

we can medaite while the case sits wiating for a hearing...so first hearing could be jsut a case of singing off,,,,

i simplay cannot wait for him to come up with something and THEN have to file anyway and then wait another three months.

it's been two years since i moved out...i began asking him his proposals september 2008/ beginnin 2009 so plenty long enough

so he is coming up with rubbish like "but it is not a good time to sell" etc.

in meantime there have been huge demands for money (£13,000 to date) towards communal repairs fund for flat which I have had to take out a loan to pay - he not coming up with any ideas on how to repay me other than "sell later [when???] when market is better". i cannot do.

sorri typos - signing off case --mediate... etc

Sounds exaclty like my ex - feel like we will never move forward. But he manages to always make me feel like I am the bad one, as if I am hassling him and of course we would not be having any of these problems if I hadn't caused all the problems in the first place!