Restraining order

[xstitch]

An in-law of my ex is constantly telling my daughter I am an unfit mother and that I don't love her. I am really concerned about the effects this is having on her. Am I entitled to file a restraining order against her?

..no.

So what can I do to protect my daughter?

xstitch I think restraining orders can only be given if there is a threat of violence of constant harassment.

Is this a grandparent? Does your DD visit this person when staying with her father? What is her father doing about it?

If that was the case I would have my lawyer write a letter to her father stating that you are aware that during his time with DD she is being put into a situation that is damaging to her mental health and relationship with you and if he doesn't keep your DD away from said person you will be forced to take legal action to ensure that the situation doesn't continue. Point out that be his facilitating the contact with the in-law he is taking part in the emotional abuse and that this is unacceptable.

Thediaryofanobody this person is not a grandparent. my dd's dad just laughed at me when I brought up my concerns. people tend to do what this person says to keep the peace as she likes to be in control.

How often does your child see this person?

Is it whilst child is with dad?

Sees her too often always on the say of her dad. I can tell when my dd has seen her as her behaviour is atrocious afterwards.

You can get a prohibited steps order, this is a court order that says that her father must not do something, ie, take her out of the country. It will be hard to enforce though.

Is your DD's contact with her father formally agreed via lawyers etc? If not, you might want to consider getting some legal advice and making a formal request that this person is not allowed contact with your DD as she is abusive towards her (and telling a little girl that her mother doesn't love her is abusive).
Restraining orders are only for violence/stalking/harassment, but an in-law has no automatic right to contact with a child, particularly when such contact is distressing to the child.

I think you'd really need alot of proof that it's harming your child emotionally or any other way really.

I don't see what you can do

In this country, there's very little you can do, with regards to this style of harassment (unless it's religious or homophobic abuse).

Remove the child from the possibility of the seeing the in-law. If this means your ex doesn't see his child, then that's what it has to mean. No child should ever be told by anyone that she is not loved.

you cant just stop access with the other parent though....its the childs right,via childrens act, to have both parents in his life.....

is access via court order??

There is no court order in place. However my ex has raised an action for him to have full custody and me not to see my dd. One of his arguments is based on that fact that she has been told I don't love her so he can provide a more loving home. Kind of run out of places to turn. Spoke to a lawyer who said as I appeared to have upset my ex I should expect to be punished. I really don't see how refusing to what I am told 24-7 is such a crime. When I say doing what I am told I mean with everything not just the care of my dd.

Unfortunately can't change lawyers because of legal aid . I have gradually done less and less of what my ex says I should and I now have a boyfriend who I have been seeing for some time now hence I apparently need punished. I was gradually getting less scared of living my life and now the law is helping him push me back down again.

Breaking all ties with him is the only way then. He has no rights over you whatsoever.
Does he pay csa?
Time to get tough and stand up for yourself now..... You can do it

Would be very difficult to prove that this someone is constantly saying this to the child, as you aren't there. How old is the child?

I'd have thought a better way of dealing with it would be to laugh and say 'Doesn't (insert name of whoever) say silly things sometimes?' and then go on to reassure her of your love - make it a game to see who can think up different levels of the proof of your love for each other. But obviously it depends on the age of the child.

Every situation is complex and difficult to explain in a post on the net but it doesn't sound as if you have much to worry about on the 'custody' front (although it is called Residence now - assuming you are UK)apart from your dreadful lawyer - and there are lots of legal aid lawyers about.

Yes, ring Women's Aid: you need some expert help. THe lawyer you spoke to is a twat (and wrong - no adult has the right to 'punish' another adult for ending a relationship and starting a new one, you are not property.). Bear in mind that while your DD has a right to contact with her father, your XP does NOT have a right to contact with you. Nor do you have to 'obey' him. It is prefectly possible and legal to have all handovers done by a third party and to have all contact re handovers and your DD done via a third party.
Honestly, get legal advice from a lawyer specialising in family mediation and domestic violence issues (I get the impression your X is your X because of his abuse of you).

Your lawyer is a dick. Get another one!

oops thought I had already replied . I am feeling much better today thank you. Spoke to women's aid and will be seeing someone from there again. Also have an appointment to see a lawyer tomorrow so fingers crossed.

Just a quick update, meeting with lawyer went well today. He's going to work on the case and get residency/copntact etc sorted hopefully.