Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Legal matters

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have any legal concerns we suggest you consult a solicitor.

ACCESS ADVICE

4 replies

whygodwhy · 09/04/2010 18:41

ExH and I split 4 months ago, he was extremely EA and a very heavy drinker. Sadly DS 6 saw and heard far too much aggression towards me. Home is a much happier place now and DS and I are doing good. I have worked and continue to do so to ensure EX and DS have a good relationship (despite alot of bully and controlling issues from EX). Ex has DS one night weekly and every other weekend and more in hols.

However, Ex is now starting to do the following:-

TAke DS to pub and drive home
Take DS out of bike via pubs where EX drinks even more
Leaving DS alone in car when going into shops
Leaving DS alone outside sports club whilst he sits and drinks inside with friends.
Lets DS not wear bike helmet
Lets DS play 16+ violent video games
Lets DS go in others cars without booster seats

There is lots of other unsuitable stuff, but not that puts DS in danger.

I have tried to talk to Ex to be told to F off and he can do what he likes and to take him to court if I dare, as there is nothing they can do either.

He also insists he speaks to DS every morning and every evening - which I find excessive.

Where would I stand if this went legal, I just want him not to drink alcohol when he is with DS, not take him into pubs and to keep him safe.

I just whant them to have a good relationship and the access to continue but for him to do suitable things with a 6 year old.

Help please

OP posts:
Sassa · 09/04/2010 20:31

Stop the contact until he agrees to do as you say. It is your responsibility to ensure that your son is safe and therefore, if you have any doubt, don't allow the contact. I'm sorry you are in this situation. You seem to be very reasonable with your ex so far. Legally, you are within your rights to stop contact if you fear risk of harm. You will not be frowned upon by the court for taking such action.

Best regards

Sassa

whygodwhy · 10/04/2010 00:41

Sassa thanks for your advice, I have no wish to control ex's life when he is not with our DS, but does it ever happen that the court would say that he can't go drinking when he has access to DS? I would imagine not surely as that seems very specifically controlling?

OP posts:
mumoverseas · 10/04/2010 14:45

Totally agree with Sassa. Keep a diary (if you have not already done so) of the various incidents as this is important information. Try to recall dates, times etc.

Stop contact until he can be a responsible parent. If he doesn't like it he can apply for a Residence order and you can then justify why you have stopped contact, ie it is in your sons best interests as his safety was in question.

From what you've said, it may well be that supervised contact (either in a contact centre or by a third party, ie family friend) might be the way to go for the time being until he can prove he is responsible.

I've known courts to put specific clauses with regards to contact restrictions on orders but of course it is very hard to 'police' them.

Don't listen to his threats. Put your son first. Good luck x

Sassa · 11/04/2010 17:48

Hi

Yes as mumoverseas says specific conditions can be imposed for contact. These conditions are necessary to keep the child safe.

Best regards

Sassa

New posts on this thread. Refresh page