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financial separation - ex repsonse to letter before action is "i want to mediate"

3 replies

cestlavielife · 22/03/2010 11:29

but he does not say what his counter proposals are?

essentially, i moved out in april 2008 with dcs to rent a property leaving exP in joint owned flat 1, for which he has been underpaying all expenses (ie expensees mortgage etc come to 550 a month, he has been paying 370)>
we also joint own a flat 2 which is rented out.

we were not married.

letter (letter before action) to him from my solicitor said: will file at court to apply for sale of both flats 1 and 2 under trusts of land act, with concurrent application under childrens act to determine correct share of equity released from sales in terms of provision for the children.

i have tried by email to ask him his view on this for the last 18 months with no response. my solicitor wrote that "as attempts to dicsuss finances have failed no choice but to file at court. "

his letter response (he represents himself) states (paraphrasing) - "drop the court case because i want to mediate and i have always wanted to mediate but she (ie me) has refused to mediate. "

(i refused to mediate because he was abusive and violent to me, so i felt court arena was more secure for children contact issues, we had cafcass involved who recommended supervised contact, they also offered CAFCASS family conference which he refused to attend...so effectively, he refused "mediation" at that point).

anyway - if a solicitor asks for specific action:

ie agree to sell the flats - or we go to courtto elt court decide -

and his reply is "i want to mediate, so I expect you to not file the papers at court" but does not actually express any view with regards to selling the flats -

does that mean i have to hold off filing at court?

surely any mediation (i am meeting a potential third party "gobetween" this week but not sure if will work out) can still continue while we await first hearing?

and if we can mediate between filing the papers and before hearing then will mean only one hearing to sign and stamp agreement?

if i hold off, I suspect it will only drag it out further - there is a two to three month wait anyway for a first hearing...he is manipulative etc and for my benefit (and surely for his?) better to let a judge decide if is fair to sell the joint owned properties? and decide who gets what in terms of equity share?

tks

OP posts:
prh47bridge · 22/03/2010 12:08

He's an idiot.

He can't force you to go through mediation. Negotiations between you can continue right up to the hearing. You can withdraw the action at any time. As he is underpaying the mortgage, there is a risk that the mortgage provider will step in and sell flat 1. You don't want that to happen.

You should really talk to your solicitor about this but I think you should go ahead and file the papers.

Sparks · 22/03/2010 13:08

You don't have to hold off filing in court. He has expressed his expectation that you don't file. You obviously don't have to do what he expects you to.

He was abusive in the past. IMO this is just him trying to control you.

Sassa · 22/03/2010 14:42

Hi

He is trying to control again... If he doesn't respond, file your court application and get the court timetable on the go so that this does not drag out any more. Legal position is that you can't be forced to mediate and your reasons for refusal are perfectly understandable.

Best regards

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