Seperating. Should I buy for my husband to rent?

[SpiritualKnot]

Hello there,
Have Been on the relationship section of this forum for the past week, talking about our about to happen separation.

Dh is about to move out and wants to rent. He's having problems finding somewhere suitable. There's a lovely flat on the market in a very quiet area about 4 miles away going for £55,000. Dh doesn't want to buy-he's not used to spending money. I could get a loan out for the deposit and then he could pay the mortgage.

I know that sounds crazy. I'm currently paying our home mortgage and a buy to let mortgage; He pisses me off with his dislike of paying anything out and I wonder if I want to do this just to annoy him in some way?

He could in theory easily take out a loan himself for the deposit. Earns enough but thinks he doesn't.

Anyway, if I did do this and we ended up getting divorced, would the flat be his? Would I be entitled to the deposit back if this was the case? If he did pay the deposit himself and the mortgage, would it be straigthforward and the flat be his? Or because we're married would it be considered "ours" anyway?

Would it be a legal nightmare in which case should I just bide my time and let him find somewhere suitable to rent?

SK

Hi SK, sorry about your situation, have read your recent threads.

From what you have said about your H, he does not seem to me to be the type to get on and do what needs to be done. Rather than put yourself into debt, why not approach this from a different angle - agree a date on which he moves out. The date would be a month or two from now. And then leave it to him. If he hasn't got his arse in gear and rented/arranged a new address by then, he packs anyway and gets himself to a Travelodge or similar. The agreed date is set in stone, no extensions.

I'm afraid I'm an old cynic, but his leaving things to you seems particularly cruel to me, a twisting of the knife. He has told you he wants to leave, so that's what he has to do.

Just my opinion, feel free to ignore.

Hi where...

That's a good idea actually. We've told our daughter that he's moving out when the painters come, so I can get the house and decorating sorted.

We don't know when that'll be, in around 3 weeks time. He seems pretty keen to go. We've both rung up these agencies and they are definitely very bad at arranging viewings etc. He's actually going to see one tomorrow, it's miles away though.

I'm worried that he's going to end up miles away, whereas the place I've seen is on my way home from work, making it dead easy for me to pick my daughter up. He works shifts and picks her up from school maybe 3-4 times a week.

I s'pose in reality though as he works in the town where we live together now, he can just drop her off when he goes to work. But he works a lot of nights, so would be coming back here at 10pm unless I pick her up. But it would work out.

I have suggested he move into a bed and breakfast and he actually thought this idea was not good, but if I suggest he has to be out for the decorators otherwise my daughter will start to fret, he's probably find somewhere, even if it was temporary.

He does have a slight problem as he's in the police and can't really enter bedsit land locally as he's arrested or had dealing with so many people in these places.But there are some nice little hotels in the next town.

Thanks for that

SK

Hi there

To answer your question, if you get divorced, the flat becomes part of the matrimonial asset pot to be divided in negotiations. It's just another asset regardless of whose name it is in. If you do end up getting divorced, get someone who knows how to deal with a police pension! (pm me if you wish)

Best regards

Hi Sassa,

I don't understand how it works, coz if I buy him out of the marital home, it goes into my name and thus the selling price isn't halved when I come to sell, I get the money.

Yet if I buy another property in my name, money is shared when I sell?

He's said that if I buy this other property perhaps he could sign something that says he has no right to the money if I sell it. Would that be possible?

Do you think I should buy him out of our marital home? I pay all the mortgage anyway, we've got about £99,000 to pay. Lived here 8 years. He paid the deposit which came from the selling of our previous house. Would it mean my monthly mortgage payments would increase greatly?

Sorry about all these Qs, but I haven't a clue.

SK

Hi, private message if you want to chat. Essentially, unless you have a final financial order (consent order) saying that he has no claim, he is always within his rights to make a claim. How successful he will be depends on needs, obligations and resources at the time of his application.

I have no financial advice to offer, but I have read some of your threads.

Do you think that your actions are enabling his general uselessness? My DH is an alcoholic and for a while I enabled his drinking by helping him cover it up, control it, justify it etc. Do you think you might be doing the same? If he is in the police then I'd expect someone at some point thought that he was capable of all sorts of complex decision making. He is adult, and needs to start acting like one. Perhaps you should stand back. I expect it would take a real load off your shoulders.

Until the financial settlement is made ALL assets are considered regardless of whose name they are in. So the marital home and any other property you buy for him would be part of your assets which would have to be declared, although any mortgage is subtracted from those figures. He may therefore be able to claim a portion of the marital home as well as a portion of any home you buy for him.

Personally I would avoid buying him out of the marital home until the financial settlement is finalised. The settlement will determine how much money (if any) you have to pay him and should also provide that the marital home is transferred into your name.

Hi again,

Thanks for you advice. Dh has found somewhere himself renting. Out of town and he has suggested that he should bring daughter to our house after school and stay with her until I get back.

I've said no to that, coz before I know it, he'll be taking a shower and getting ready for work here.He says he just wants min disruption to daughter but I can't have him saying he's going and then being there when I get home.

That's why I was trying to get this specific place, to get somewhere thats en route to my work, but not going to happen. He supports the idea he had to do it himself and is bewildered by my obsessions with finding him a place. His friend said it may be because "passionate love" has gone from our relationship, we've sort of replaced it with this "helpful love"

Fallen for the place I was looking at but mustn't buy it I know, I could just about afford it but will resist, as it'd be pointless-don't know why I'm even considering it.

Sassa, I may be on here again when things are more settled and I need to make firm decisions, would I be ok to message you then? I work in healthcare and am totally ignorant about anything to do with law.

Thanks again

SK

SK,private message me at anytime

Best regards