Drug addicted Dad - access/responsibility questions.

[cananybodyhelp]

Long story short:

XP and I separated in Sept of last year. I discovered he had become addicted to codeine when DD was two months old.

Tried and tried to help / get help for him. Fast forward to January of this year - DD is now 2yrs 2mo, and discover he is also smoking cannabis, taking valium and also smoking heroin. Desperate situation.

other thread here

We managed to get his otherwise pretty hopeless parents to pay for a stay in the Priory - his last day was officially Friday (yesterday) but his folks had agreed to pay for another week as the psychiatrists in there thought he needed longer because he had been taking more drugs than anyone realised.

I've had a call from him this morning to say he was kicked out last night because he had taken valium into the hospital.

Obviously he is devastated, I am very worried for him but need to admit there is literally nothing more I can do. I now need to think about making sure DD is protected from all this in the long term

We are in Scotland, and I am not sure whether he has equal parental rights to me? We are not and have never been married.

What if something happens to me? There is no way he is capable of taking responsibility for her, and his mother is equally as irresponsible and self interested (was the only one who knew what he was doing and didn't tell anyone even when he had been looking after dd alone). Is there anything I can put in place legally that addresses this?

I have no interest in stopping contact, but this cannot be unsupervised - and to me, his mother does not qualify as 'supervision' as she has also shown she cannot put dd's welfare first. Can this be formalised and how would I go about it?

bump - can anyone give me some advice?

I think you need to see a local family solicitor - they may do an initial half an hour free of charge?

Yes, I think I will go on Tuesday. Or should I go to CAB first? And how do I go about finding a decent lawyer?

You need to see a solicitor who specialises in family law and deal with this through family court system. He could be forced to do urine testing and it is not unreasonable to request properly supervised contact, especially as child is so young. Good luck and big higs x

Thank you - I am struggling a bit. Thought of the effect this could have on her life...it is just tragic. Don't want to kick him when he is down but I have to think about her.

You do have to think of her and you are. I work with drug using parents and sadly opiates make it difficult for parents to put children first. To be honest a couple of weeks in the priory won't make a damn difference. He either needs longer term case management in a community treatment setting, or a residential rehab placement of upto 6 months depending on why he uses etc. There is no quick answer.
See a solicitor and be strong. It sounds like you are very caring and capable x

How does he get into a system of long term care like that? There don't seem to be any options available to him, and no idea of how to access whoever can help him with this. The GP has been hopeless. I do believe he is desperate - his addiction is stronger than he is. It's so sad.

Where do you live? You need to find the local Community Drug Team or other prescribing service. He should then be referred by GP or most services have system of self referrals.
He would recieve substitute prescribing and counselling as well as the option to look at residential rehab. They will help him feel stronger. But a word of caution - nothing will help until HE is motivated. People come into treatment for many reasons but those who succeed are those who WANT to change.

Try scottishdrugservices.com- he/you should be able to find local services that can help. You might also want to find carer/family support for yourself. I kknow you have split up but as the mother of his child his use will affect you too.

If he is named on the birth certificate he has parental responsibility. As you were never married, the only ways he can get parental responsibility are by being named on the birth certificate, by agreement with you or by applying for a court order.

It is called parental responsibility rather than parental rights because the emphasis is on his responsibilities to the child rather than his rights over the child. He would, for example, be responsible for safeguarding and promoting her health, welfare and development. As the mother you automatically have parental responsibility so he would share these responsibilities with you.

If he has parental responsibility, he would have a right to a say in decisions such as education, religion and medical treatment. In the event of a dispute which you could not settle, you might have to go to court to get it resolved. As your DD lives with you the courts will generally side with you but you should not assume that will always happen.

Parental responsibility also allows him to object to you changing your DD's name or emigrating.

On the wider questions of what happens if something happens to you, you need to see a solicitor.